How To Win The Race

Once upon a time

There was a race

And in it

Ran a group of actors.

The gun went off

The actors

All wearing their colourful racing bibs

Burst forward

And the long run began.

Over hills

And under bridges

Alongside the ocean

And deep into the forest

Shoulder to shoulder

Bumping into each other

The actors grit there teeth and pushed forward

No-one wanting to give up.

Eventually

One actor fell behind

And could no longer keep up the pace of the others

The actor collapsed on the ground

“I can’t do this anymore!”

They sobbed

The group of running actors heard the painful cries of the actor behind them giving up

But they continued to push ahead

“That will never be me!”

They each thought to themselves.

Eventually

The group of actors crossed the finish line.

Exhausted

And drenched in sweat

They turned their attention to the official post-race ceremony.

The actors stepped up to the podium

In first place

The actor was presented with a gold medal

They looked down at the medal and thought to themeless

“Wow! I did it!

I can’t believe I won!

Thank god it’s over”

In second place

The actor was presented with a silver medal

They looked down at the medal and thought to themselves

“If I had only been a bit faster

If I had only been a bit better

I could have been the best”

In third place

The actor received a bronze medal

The actor looked at the medal around their neck

And thought to themselves

“I did it!

I just managed to scrape in there with the best”

Behind the podium

Sat the actor who came forth

They looked up at the actors all receiving their medals

And thought to themselves

“If I had only been a bit faster!

If I had only been a bit better!

I could have been up there with the best”

The actor who had given up

Who had been driven to the finish line

Too full of pain and resentment

They couldn’t even watch the actors receive their medals

They thought to themselves

“I will never race again!”

Everyone else clapped for the actors on the podium

And the day was done.

The actor with the gold medal

Relieved the race was over

Climbed into their car

And began their long drive home through the night.

After a while

The gold medal actor

Saw another actor running along side the road

One they didn’t recognise

Running in the direction of the finish line

“Oh no”

They thought to themselves

“That poor actor doesn’t know the race is over

They’ve lost their bib

They’re smiling

They must be exhausted and delusional”

The gold medal actor

Stuck their head out to the window and yelled out

“Hey!

The race is over!

You don’t have to run anymore!”

The running actor

Smiling as they kept one foot moving in front of the other

Looked at the gold medal actor

And replied

“What race?”

Hope this helps

X

How To Transform Your Career

Many artists suffer…

At times

What is happening

And the internal story of what should be happening

Are two very different things

And sometimes

When the dissonance between those two things

Becomes all too much

We might fall apart

Have a creative meltdown

And enter into a chapter

Where we simply give up

Give up trying to control the uncontrollables

And allow ourselves

And our work

To flow in the direction it’s actually meant to

What a thought

“I’m doing what I’m meant to be doing”

Ugh

Beautiful

To be getting out the way…

Okay let’s get on track

The following are three small steps

To help you transform your career

One: Surrender

Transformation begins with not knowing

I’m going to assume you can already feel how anxious trying to figure it all out is making you

This is something I jump into a lot

The fight to know HOW

How can I…

How will I…

How must I…

How should I…

So

(As scary as it can be)

Breathe into the honest, vulnerable and expansive area of

“I don’t know... And that’s okay”

(Of course

It’s in the place of not knowing

That knowings begin to arise).

Two: Notice

Mother Nature has provided us with the wisest of tools

Our body

Notice the signals she is providing you

Notice the people, place & experiences

That make your body feel alive

Make your body lean forward

Forget about time

Fill you with a sense of expansion

Make you feel free!

Start becoming aware of these crucial bits of information

And then?

Three: Follow

Begin the exhilarating process of moving in the direction those signals are guiding you

Like tracks in the sand moving over the distant horizon

Begin to follow them

You will have absolutely no idea where they are leading you

But you know exactly how to get there

Just follow those tracks

Follow those curiosities

The people, place & creative experiences which fill you with a sense of expansion

A side note here

This becomes an interesting place

This is where our conditioned responses may begin to raise their heads

Implanted by the systems & culture of our indsutry

“But I can’t do it that way”

“People would laugh at me”

“The industry would shun me”

Mmm

Is that really true?

What kind of artist are you when you believe that?

What kind of actor might you be if you let that go?

Curious

Notice those thoughts

Those stories

Those things you believe about the industry when you’re afraid

And bring it back

To doing the work in a way which makes your body feel alive

Why?

Because you’re allowed to!

You’re allowed to work on things which you love

In a way that you love working on them

And when someone tells you

“But you can’t do it that way!”

Look at them

Look at the fear in their eyes

Hear the angst in their voice

Love on them for trying to keep you safe

And instead

Choose go first

This whole industry is starving

This whole industry is desperately waiting

For artists

Like you

To give yourself permission

To go first

Hope this helps

X

My Favourite Rejection

Once upon a time

I was reading a book

I don’t usually read books

But I had seen this one on my shelf

And felt the pull to open it

After the first page

I sat down on my bed

After the second page

I opened up my schedule and cleared my next few hours

After the first chapter

I cleared the next two days

And I proceeded to fall in love

With a character

I was already working on a film at that time

And I realised that this book, it’s context, and it’s protagonist’s internal dialogue

Were a perfect fit in understanding the world in which my current role was influenced by

So the book stayed on me

Or more like

Stayed in me

Those chapters, paragraphs and lines

Filled me with a deep sense of expansion

I simply have never felt such a strong pull toward pages of a book before.

About a month later

I was staying at a hotel down in Tasmania where we were filming

And a dear cast mate and I were walking along the river which flowed in front of it

When he realised I was holding the novel

He exclaimed

“Oh! You’re going for that role too!”

Stop

My heart froze

I asked what he meant

But I knew what he meant

Deep down I knew

There could only be one thing he meant

“They’re turning that book into a film

I’m assuming you’re auditioning too?”

He said with joy

I didn’t even wait to get back to my room

I pulled my phone out and called my agent

“Mike

I tried

The casting director thinks you’re too old”

Now

I wouldn’t say I’m a pushy actor when it comes to auditions

In fact

I can’t recall another time where I insisted on going in for something

Where I pleaded

Or begged

I’m mostly prone to avoid conflict

And very much want to respect people’s roles in the industry

Not step into their lane

But when the body knows

The body knows

And goddamn

My body knew…

That role was mine

I had never felt so sure about a role being mine

I had never felt so sure that if I could just be seen for it

They would see what I see

They would see what I know to be true

That I was the best person for it

So

I kindly

But firmly

Asked my agent to please have another try

I knew the casting director

I believed at that time that I had been very respectful and generous in her roomover the years

So although it might be odd behaviour for me

There was a feeling of deep trust on my end in making that request

And a few hours later

My agent called back

“Your audition is in Sydney next week”

I took a breath

Jumped back into bed with my book

And began working on my next role

“It’s just meant to be”

I told myself.

I booked in with my coach

And was up at 1 am the following morning working with her online (as she was in NYC).

The process began

And with it came doubts

It was just a first round audition

I know how these things go

I put in effort

Time

Money

Energy

And chances are I’ll get rejected

So what’s the point?

But there was something different

A curiosity?

A breadcrumb of trust?

To give it everything

I felt alive

Strangely alive

So

I made the decision

I chose to behave as if I already had the role

To simply treat the audition process like rehearsals had begun

As if I was just working on my next gig.

I opened up my book

And I wrote

“How would I behave if I already had the role?”

Then brainstormed a list of answers

And that became my list of things to do

I wasn’t going to wait for their permission.

A week later

After living and breathing that character

I went into the casting room

Gave my work over to the lens

And surprisingly didn’t even have to wait more than a few hours to hear back from the casting director

They were happy with the work

Really happy

There was going to be a call back with the director in a few weeks time

Great

Plenty of time for me to keep playing with it

To keep living and breathing the character and his world.

Now

In the book

There was the most gorgeous descriptions of what it was like to be in the mountains where he lived

Those mountains are still undisturbed to this day in Victoria, Australia

So I decided to make the seven hour drive down to them

The mist welcomed me as I arrived

And swallowed me up for those three days

They gave me a taste

A smell

An experience in my body

Of what my character might have gone through

As he sat on those rocks and looked out into the ghostly floating sea of white

I drove down to the local town where he would have walked

I didn’t have time to waste

So I knocked on the local historian’s door

Told her I was playing this role

That I was already working on it in preparation for filming in a few months time

And begun pestering her with questions about life in those times

Now

I have jut paused writing to go through my emails back in 2017 when this was all occurring

And it’s quite strange to read through all the correspondence

The director I was working with on the film at that time

Who I got on incredibly well with

Was best friends with the director for the film that I wanted

And when she found out I as auditioning

She happily put in a word

My USA agent knew the producer

And when he found out I was auditioning

He put in a word

My colleague on the current film

Who I got on incredibly well with

Knew one actor who was already cast in it

So he put in a word too

My acting coach

Who I had already started working on the role with

Had dinner with the script writer’s wife

She too put in a word

So not only was I loving working on the role

Giving it everything my body wanted to give it

But people I loved working with were supporting me wholeheartedly

They had my back

They wanted me to get the role too

It honestly felt like I was being held

Working on an audition had never so free

So easy

So loving and supported

I felt so ready to start filming

Then

I had my callback

I went in to meet the director

And he asked me to improvise a speech about donuts

Donuts

Not sure donuts were being eaten by bush rangers 150 years ago in Victoria

But I slipped into some kind of hungry fantasy over different flavoured donuts

Afterward

We laughed

Shook hands

And I left

It wasn’t quite the same world I had been working on over the last few months

But I felt clear that if the core of the character was there

I would be happy to go in whatever direction the director wanted me to go

But when I got home

I noticed my thoughts became obsessive

God I want this

I want this so much

I want to keep working on this role

I want to keep working on this film

I began to feel vulnerable

Too vulnerable

It became terrifying

Dear god

What if I don’t get it!?

I have invested so much into this

I jumped onto a call my performance coach

“Angie

What if I don’t get this?

It will hurt so much

I can’t bare how much this one will hurt”

In her wise words as always

“Mike

Permission to feel what you’re feeling

If your body deeply wants this role

If your body deeply wants to keep working on it

Then let it lead

Let yourself want it

You’re allowed to want it”

So

I chose to keep going

I kept wanting it

I kept working on it

I kept re-reading the novel

Reading over the script

Listening to music

Researching the history

Working with my acting coach

And two weeks later

My agent rang

“Mike, I’m not sure it’s going to go your way”

My response even shocked me

I playfully responded

“I love this role, I am the best person for this role, I’m going to keep working on it :)”

And so I did

And every single time my agent tried to share a sense of doubt

Maybe to let me down lightly

I would respond with some kind of water-off-a-ducks-back-type remark

But the time came

When my agent eventually had to sternly convince me

That the role in that film

Was not going to be played by me

“Mike… It’s time to let this one go”

I was dumbfounded

I gave it everything

I gave it absolutely everything

My time

My energy

My money

My everything

And they’re telling me to stop working on it?

But

Surprisingly

I didn’t feel angry

I didn’t feel ashamed

Or embarrassed

Surprisingly

As I sat in a cafe in Broadway shopping centre in Sydney

I remember leaning back in my chair

And thinking to myself

“So that’s what it feels like

To give everything and still get rejected

To put all of myself out there

And for the results not to come”

I felt…

So

Damn

Proud

I felt…

So

Damn

Grateful

I smiled and said to my agent

“I don’t regret a thing”.

Over the last eight years of helping artists with their craft and career

I have found this to be true across the board

When artists give everything their body is wanting to give

When they don’t hold back due to the fear of rejection

Despite knowing the likelihood of failure

The effort becomes the reward itself.

The truth is

Years later

I don’t feel any sense of wishing or longing

That it was me who got to play that role in that film

Why?

Because I feel like I did.

No one will ever be able to take the joy of that creative process away from me

And for that…

I’m eternally grateful

Hope this helps

X

Downside to Drama School

When I was eighteen

I had just finished high school

And my best friend was trying out for this place called NIDA

We had spent the previous four years obsessing over acting

Learning lines in English class together

Spending lunch times rehearsing group projects

Hanging out on the sets of the school plays we were about to do

Cloud Street, Romeo & Juliet, Sparkle Shark

We loved it

We loved putting in the effort

The effort was the reward itself

So when I found out he was trying out for drama school

I didn’t skip a bit

I put my forms in immediately.

My dad dropped me off in a suburb I’d never been to

And I made it through to the second round

At the call back

I vomited in the bathroom

And then was told by the great Kevin Jackson

That if I got in, I should say no

He thought I was too young

Too inexperienced

I giggled awkwardly at his remarks

He did not giggle back.

Several weeks later

I got a phone call as I was cleaning a swimming pool

It was the head of acting

“Darling, you’re in!”

Two months later

I walked into drama school

And on the first day

In the first class

In the very first five minutes

We were all given the classic acting employment speech

“1500 people auditioned, 25 got in

And some of you won’t make it to the end of this course.

But even if you do make it…

It’s likely only two of you will still be working ten years from now out in the industry”

Gulp

Okay

So the chances that we spend three years of intense training

60-80 hours a week

Costing us tens of thousands of dollars

And find ourselves in flowing work a decade from now

Is close to zero?

Great

We sat silently

Intimidated by our new Harry-Potter-esque staff members

Some of whom had actually seen Hitler in the flesh.

I remember walking out of that class

Sitting on the great old steps in the foyer

With my new motley crew of a family

And as we were discussing the sobering reality of our employment future

A big bus drove passed outside the windows along Anzac Parade

On it

Were the giant faces of not one

But two NIDA graduates from the previous year

They were the new leading actors

Of a massive TV show

Suppose to be the next big thing coming to Australian viewers.

Like a crowd at a tennis match

My new NIDA family and I

Followed that bus with our Bambi like eyes as it sped passed

Wait a minute…

If we are being told that the chances of us working in the industry are so low

But then there are two fresh graduates leading a big new show

Being marketed on enormous bus billboards all around Australia

What gives?

And it was then

That someone behind me

Said under their breath

“They got the best agents straight out of drama school”

Okay…

Noted.

First year came and went like a blur

Movement, Voice, Improv, Acting, History of Theatre

On repeat

And as we entered into our final term

I noticed something

There was an enormous attention shift toward one very particular thing:

Which third years were going to get the best agents?!?

At this time

There were two big agents that seemed to dominate the conversations

“Who will those agents like?

Who will they take onto their books?”

No point beating around the bush here

As first years

We largely looked up to the third years

And if the third years were caring enormously about who the agents wanted

Then it became very clear to us

That this was something worth caring about

The equation became simple

Get to the end of third year

Get an offer from one the two best agents

Get a lead role on the next big TV show

And everything will be okay

Noted

The next year

Same thing

The new crop of third years went through the familiar cycle

I watched two actors get offers from both those big agencies

I remember celebrating with them that night

“You’ll be here with us next year Sheasby!”

“If you don’t get an offer from one of the two big ones - you’re fucked”

One said with a laugh

“A six pack will get you more work than voice classes ever will”

Said the other

Noted

Another summer came and went

And as I put on my big boy shoes

For my first day of third year at drama school

I pulled out a piece of paper

And on it

I wrote the names of those two big agencies

And then stuck it next to my bed

So I could look at it every day

Every fucking day

Until it happened

Until I got an offer from one of those two big agents

Why?

Because if I got an offer from the best agents

I would get the best work in the industry

I would be on bus billboards a year or two out of NIDA

I would have secure, well payed work

With respectable colleagues

And then…

Everything would be okay.

Now

Back in those days

(He says with a raspy old voice)

When students graduated

They would go back to NIDA one week after their final day

Where they would go into an office

Alone

And they were handed a piece of paper

With a list of agencies who were interested in them

They were told

“email them and organise a meeting”

And that was it

The last moment of formal contact with drama school

The offical pushing out the nest

And as the years above us went through that experience

We realised that that’s when the students became a number

The number of agents that were interested in them became their value

Dave got 17

Damien got 2

Darren got Zero

I can remember waiting outside that room

After completing my three years of study

Shaking

Why?

Because I believed the next 5 minutes were going to determine my career

And therefore my life

If those two big agencies were on my list?

Everything would be okay

If not?

I’m probably just not cut out for this.

Then it happened

To my absolute horror

Neither of those names were on my list

There were a few names there

But not the ones I wanted

Not the ones I needed

And I fell apart

The old lady who handed me the paper stared back at me smiling

I put on a fake smile back

Said thank you

And went home

Where I closed the door

Lay on the carpet

And clenched my fists

I just wasted three years

I just took my loved ones on a ride of excitement and hubris

Only to now disappoint them

My friends will suddenly realise that I’m not what they thought I was

The best casting directors won’t see me

The best directors won’t bother with me

I’ll never get to read the best scripts

Or be seen for decent roles

I’ll never work

I’ll never get paid to act

I’ll never be an actor

Okay

Now

Looking back

This might seem a bit dramatic

But at that time

It felt incredibly real for me

That was the story I was telling myself

And I believed every inch of it

Why do I say all this?

What’s my point?

Over the past fourteen years

I have spoken to, worked with, interviewed, coached or mentored

Thousands of actors, artists & performers

Many of those being graduates of drama schools in the western world

And many of those not

And I have noticed one very important differentiating factor

Between young drama school graduates

And young non drama school graduates:

Those who have not graduated from drama schools have a more resilient relationship with representation than those who have

The agents don’t define them, their work or their value nearly as much as it tends to do so for fresh grads.

And to me

This makes a hell of a lot of sense

Of course!

If an actor goes to one of the best drama schools in the country

Regardless of being exposed to the brutal facts and reality around employment rates

There is still an underlying expectation that they should get an agent

And this

Makes them bloody fragile.

Yes

One must hope

Hope for the best representation

Hope for the best work

Hope for the best colleagues

But

Just because it doesn’t happen immediately

Does not mean it won’t ever happen

There is a brittle story amongst fresh graduates who don’t get representation they are happy with, or get representation at all:

It’s the end of the road for them.

After the last few days pondering over this dilemma

I can absolutely think of examples

Of actors who were devastated when their time at drama school wrapped up because of their lack of offers

Who simply fell apart in the first few months being out in the industry

Who cried it out

Grieved it out

Lost all hope

Only to wake up one day

And realise

It’s up to them

It’s on their shoulders

And so they made the choice

To keep going

To keep finding joy in the effort

And years later

Found themselves to be on sets they loved

With colleagues they loved

Getting paid to play at something they love

Unfortunately

I can think of far more examples

Of actors who let those first few weeks or months after graduating

Define them and the value they have to offer the industry.

A strange story comes to mind as I write this

I was helping a friend carry luggage to a cabin where we were all staying for the weekend

He said he had just failed his very first exam to get into med school

After years of listening to him talk about how he should be a doctor

I asked him what he was going to do moving forward

He said

“Go try out for law school instead”

Without even thinking about it

(And it’s still something I feel strange about to this day)

I laughed and said

“You obviously never wanted to be a doctor then”

He stopped

Stared and me and said

“what do you mean?”

Again, without skipping a beat, I carelessly said

“Being a doctor means decades of training

Decades of exams and tests

Sick patients

Dying patients

Literally a lifetime of failures and mistakes.

And you want to quit after your first fallen hurdle?

Sounds like you don’t really want it”

He went quiet

His shoulders dropped

And I embarrassingly realised I had put my foot in it.

But

Years later

He is now a professional novelist

He gets paid to read and write everyday

Why?

Because they’re his favourite things to do!

I just loves it

The effort of reading and writing is the reward for him

And so the obstacles in his way became little speed bumps.

My point is

If you love acting

If you really want to play and contribute your art to this world

Then do that.

Keep doing the thing that brought you to your training in the first place.

And if you finish drama school

And you don’t get an agent you’re thrilled about from the very beginning

Or get an agent at all

It would be bloody understandable

Especially after 3 years of underlying expectations

That it might hurt

Enormously

But

Please

For the love of god

Let it hurt

Give yourself permission to feel the pain, anguish, anger, frustration, embarrassment, shame

Whatever beautiful messy complex grey emotions show up

Feel em

And when you come out the other side

(And you will)

Remember

You have a choice in letting it define you

You do have a choice

Hope this helps

X

Making The Right Choice

“Hey Sheasby

Curious if there are any updates in regard to your agent search? Would love to know your thoughts on who you went with and why they were right for you?

D

PS. when you say you’re wanting to meet up for coffee to discuss finding joy in the effort with artists, do you actually mean that?”

Hey D!

Firstly

Yes

As I am comfortably taking time away from auditioning until Two Ugly Peoplecomes out

I really just want to focus on helping other artists with their craft & career at the moment

So just say the word and we can find a time.

Now

To your main question

YES

After a two month process

I have finally found a new home

And how has that process been?

Well

I can honestly say

The vast majority of the search was bloody painful

Which very much took me by surprise.

You see

I was well aware that there was resistance on my end

When my previous agent

The glorious Nicky

Told me she would be closing up shop back in January

I spent the next five and a half months burying my head in the sand

It was her who eventually gave me the much needed nudge out of the nest

And boy did I drag my heels

My daughter saw me walking around the house looking like Jim Carry’s version of The Grinch

Stubbornly pacing back and forth in a sulky manor

I want to be clear

I help performers with their search for representation

I give guidance to artists when it comes to who they choose to invest their time & energy with

That’s a weekly, if not daily occurrence for me.

And yet

I still noticed myself falling into a stinky swamp of confusion, fear and frustration

Let me explain

The first thing I did when I truly began my search back in June of this year

Was tell my partner that I was going to be stepping into something I find quite scary

Just in case I seem a bit fragile, tender or defensive

Then I asked three mentors whom I love and respect dearly

“Who do you think would be a good fit?”

They gave me five names in total

So I went to a cafe

And sent my five emails to private email addresses to see if they might like to have a chat

And right off the bat

I had one immediate rejection

They were very kind and respectful about it

As well as flagged some personal stuff going on for them

But god

I still felt tiny

My imagination went wild with that email

I told myself some bloody interesting stories

And definitely noticed myself attaching meaning to it

Like “all my efforts over the passed twenty years were for nothing!”

Mmm

Notice the dissonance

Take a slow, kind breath

Bring it back to what I can control

Keep going

Off to my four meetings I went

Out of those four meetings

I really like three

And all three said they really like me

Woo!

But

Rather than feeling excited about finding a match

I started to become fearful about not pleasing everyone

The idea of choosing one

And therefore saying no to two others

Began to absorb my attention

Again

My imagination went wild

“If I say no to the two others

They might black list me

I might never work again”

I had to slow things down

Breathe

Stop my imagination from carrying me into a dark forest

I’m a homo sapien

I’m biologically designed to care what others think

To stress over not being liked or not pleasing others…

Despite the discomfort it brings

Totally normal

Totally okay

What did I do next?

Nothing

I just sat and waited

And waited

And over a week later

I had three emails sitting in my inbox checking in with how I was going

And seeing if I wanted to chat again

Gulp

I felt clear about one way forward

Polarisation

To be so honest that I either attract

Or repel

Time to be completely true about where I as at

And what I was wanting most moving forward

How honest could I be about acting and the agent relationship I was after?

What am I really wanting out of the next few years in regard to craft & career?

This was a big step for me

I felt incredibly insecure

I felt like I was about to show myself

My true, ugly, scarred & scared little self

And almost straight away

One came back with a “thank you for your honesty, on second thoughts, we might not be the best fit”

And two came back with “absolutely yes”

Brilliant

Two left

What happened next?

I started to eat

And I mean

EAT

Snacking

From waking up in the morning

Until right before putting my head on the pillow

Something I have never really experienced

Uncontrollable snacking

I actually packed on three kilos in just a few weeks

I found it kind of funny at first

Quite bizarre behaviour on my end

I mean, I’m no stranger to a good ol shnack

But all day every day?

Curious

That’s a different pattern for me

And as I started to lose sleep on top of this

Plus the looping thoughts of

“What are they thinking?

What will they do if I say no?”

It really began to take it’s toll

Every hour of the day I’de swing to why the other one was the better choice for me

I kept asking myself

Who is right for me?

Who is right for me?

The one I felt incredibly excited and energised about

The other I felt very calm, easy and grounded

But

Which one was right for me?

Which one was right for me!?

Then

As another week went by

And I found myself once again not having made a decision

And judging myself hard for what I felt was like an inability to do so

I lay in the bed with my head flopping off to the side

And thought to myself

Is that really the best question I could be asking myself?

Is there a better question which could give me a better answer?

Curious

Which one is right for me

Well that depends on the context

About where I’m at

So

Where am I at?

There is an image that has been coming to mind a lot over the last year when it comes to acting

It’s one which makes my body feel home

It makes me feel calm, easy, grounded, strong

It makes me want to take my time

It makes me feel so bloody clear about my craft and career

I know

I know this is where I am at for now

That may change

Of course it will change

When it will change?

Who the heck knows

But I know

That it’s where I am at for now

Then it hit me

Of course

It wasn’t about who is right for me

It’s about who’s right for me… for now

And with that

I breathed an easy breath

And calmly fell asleep

Knowing exactly who I was going to call on Monday morning

After a relaxing and slow weekend with my family

Hope this helps

X

Paid To Act

Imagine waking up one morning

And the whole industry has evaporated

(For whatever reason)

It simply collapsed overnight

And you know

You know

You will never earn a single dollar from acting again

You’ll never get paid to act

What would you do?

Would you still bother?

Would you still film scenes with friends?

Would you still buy a camera and make your own movies?

Would use your phone to make short films?

Would you still go to class?

Would you stay up late into the night watching old films that make you breathe easier

Would you read scenes that make you feel like life is worth living?

Or

Would you close that door?

Say goodbye to that chapter of your life and go do other things?

Mmm

Curious

After the idea of what an acting career should be

Was smashed with a sledgehammer around a decade ago for me

I started to enjoy my life again

Trying my best to let my body lead

And follow my curiosity when it came to where, how and who I invested my time and energy in

That meant

Things that I use to enjoy as a kid

Playing in nature

Wrestling

Being around animals

Started to fill my calendar for the first time in my adult life

I’m actually heading out this weekend

Into the wild

I have my pack

My survival & safety gear

My clothing layers & food

And I’m going to be in the elements for 24 hours

Just me and mamma nature.

Being a dad of a currently fourteen month old

Has obviously meant not taking too many weekends off lately

So I get plenty of time to think about that next upcoming adventure

I’ve been thinking about this weekends’ trip for at least three months

And my god

I’ve loved every minute dreaming about it

Watching the best outdoorsmen on the internet

Researching what specific gear they use

Doing the skill-based courses they have

Listening to their podcasts

I’ve spent months prepping my gear

Tweaking my equipment lists

Making spreadsheets to count the weight of my full pack

Counting the grams

Sitting in the garage after Kenzie-Baby has gone to bed

Simply looking at different ways I can play Tetris with my packing

I wash & maintain my gear

I spend hours looking at websites dreaming about new equipment I can invest in

I have hundreds of pages in my journals

Copious amounts of notes on my phone

Analysing what, how and why I’m doing it in particular ways

I think about it

I dream about it

I feel calm, energised, alive

I feel home

Now

One day

I decided to go on a trip with another outdoorsman

He was way more experienced than I was

And we had a secret valley we were both keen on exploring

So we decided to hike in together

But a few hours into the adventure

Something started to feel a bit off

I felt a sense of rushing

Conversations around what were doing and why were doing it seemed to be a bit clipped

Like there was a way we should be doing it

Which I noticed feeling of dissonance in my body

Lovely little signals from my body trying to guide me

And I realised

We had different priorities

This guys priority was getting to a particular place

Where as my priority was simply exploring

A big downpour ocurred and we strung up a makeshift tarp and sat underneath it eating some snakes

(The lolly kind)

We spoke about the next 20 hours of our adventure

He said where he wanted to go, what he wanted to achieve, the place where he wanted reach

And me?

I mentioned my desire to wonder

Just go in the direction I felt pulled towards

We laughed

Realising how much we had different priorities on this trip

And with that

When the showers cleared

We hook hands, said our goodbyes and wished each other a safe journey

What’s my point?

I harp on a fair bit about skill development

Making progress toward meaningful goals

But what about if simply doing the thing is the goal itself?

I will never be a professional spear-fisherman like the graceful Kimi Werner

I will never get paid to hike up beautiful & mysterious mountains like the tenacious Steve Rinella

I will never be securing a rear-naked choke in the UFC like Khabib

And yet I continue to invest hundreds of hours each year into doing these activities

My time, energy, money, attention

Goes into these areas where there is literally no monetary reward

Why?

Because I love doing them

The act of doing them is enjoyable in itself

The effort is the reward

Curious

If someone took one these hobbies of mine

And said

YOU HAVE TO DO IT THIS WAY IN ORDER TO MAKE PROGRESS

Mmm

That might actually suck the joy out if for me

I might stop listening to my body

I might start listening to people who I don’t actually enjoy being around

I might start pushing, forcing, “shoulding” all over myself

I might sacrifice my values in order to try get better

I might spend my time doing de-energising things around de-energising people

And of course

Multiply that by a couple of months

(Or even years)

You do the math

I’ll probably become resentful

I’ll probably exhaustively compare myself to others

And I’ll most likely eventually want to throw in the towel

My new agent said to me the other day

“Mike

The most important thing to me

Is that the artists I work with love what they do

And if that means taking time off to do other enjoyable things

So they can come back when they feel ready to play with love

That’s great!”

So

Here’s a question worth pondering

What would acting look like…

If you knew you were never going to get paid to do it again?

Curious

Hope this helps

X

When An Actor Struggles

Once upon a time

I was doing a play

I had to do it 113 times

I was playing the lead role

With some of Shakespeare’s most famous speeches

The production was set in London during the Blitz of World War 2

Which meant I had to shout these speeches

Over a soundtrack of exploding bombs, screams and crashing objects

On the second show I lost my voice

We then had the Monday off

I went to the doctor

Who gave me steroids for my voice

I got my voice back

But I lost my sleep due to the medication

I became very tired

And as we all know

Sometime when we don’t get enough rest

The world can feel like its crashing down very quickly

At this point in my career

I had not worked with any coaches in the world of pressure or performance psychology

So I started to believe some of my thoughts

And I started to judge what I as feeling as wrong

I became tense

On the 10th show I slapped the back wall of the stage harder than normal

I inflamed my right shoulder

It became so painful that I had to switch to my left shoulder in the following shows

On the 16th show I then did the same thing to my left shoulder

And suddenly I found myself with two shoulders that would randomly and uncontrollably drop if I raised my arms

Now

On the morning of our 17th show

I woke up in Melbourne

I was exhausted from no sleep due to the steroids

I wasn’t able to exercise due to both my shoulders needing rest

(And being injected with cortisone every week)

And I knew

I was walking into the next several months

Of being in pain every show

Eight shows a week.

I lost hope

I spiraled

And several months later

My best friend

Who happened to be on the tour with me

Knocked on my door at 8:30 in the morning and I was still drinking

Alone.

Safe to say

I was not okay

But God help me I was going to acknowledge it!

Just imagine

If I…

Michael

A professional artist

Getting paid to deliver work eight times a week

Put my hand up and asked for help

Just imagine the consequences

Would I get fired?

Would I be a huge inconvenience for people?

Would I get a reputation of being difficult?

Would I ever get another opportunity like this?

Would I ever be trusted with a great role again?

So I shut up

And I got on with it

Besides

The greats don’t complain

They swallow it

They be tough

They push through the pain

They suffer

They bleed

That’s what the greats do!

Right?

I believed the suffering was good

But I have to admit

There were nights

Where I would stand on my hotel balcony

And look down at the asphalt

23 stories below

And think

“that would feel better than what I’m feeling right now”

Nope

Shut up!

Push through

Gotta push through

Suck it up

Get on with it

A couple months later

My body caved in

The pain in my shoulders was too much

I couldn’t raise either of them on stage without extreme pain

I couldn’t decrease the pain without proper rest

And I couldn’t get proper rest because there were eight shows in a week

No time to rest!

Sure - I had an understudy

Someone being paid a wage to sub in for me if I needed a rest

But I will be damned if my understudy has to go on

I’m no pansy

Right?

Then suddenly

I find myself in an MRI machine

The producer has come out to take me to hospital with the production manager

I feel like I’m being a burden

I’m slowly slid into a big electronic tunnel

It’s dark

I’m alone

I feel alone

And it’s too much

I can’t hold in any longer

I can’t grit my teeth any longer

I start to sob

The doc needs me to be still

I try hold it together

I can’t

I whimper

Like a scared pathetic puppy

The results come

It’s a simple solution

I just need rest

Lots of rest

No more injections

No more painkillers

Just rest

But I can’t rest!

The show must go on remember!?

We drive back to the hotel

Just me and the production manager

It’s quiet

Very quiet

I’m pretending like no one could tell I was upset

Like no one just saw my blood shot eyes as I sat listening to the doctors results

I’m staring out the window

It’s cold and grey outside

Then I hear it

After what feels like a an hour of silence

Kelly turns to me and says

Mike

Everyone is wanting you to be okay

We have all the systems in place to take care of an artist in your position

You have so many hands which are reaching out to you

Asking if you’re okay…

But nothing will change if you don’t reach out in return

It’s up to you

I listend

I grimaced

And I slumped in my chair and rested my forehead against the window

I knew she was right

I squeezed my chest as hard as I could

And whispered

“I am struggling a bit”

And that night

I found myself having one of the most enjoyable experiences I’ve ever had doing a show

I found myself helping my understudy prep for his debut performance of one of Shakespeares greatest roles

We got all the supplies

The tea, honey, lemon, vitamins, steam machine

And we sat on the couch in my hotel room

Running the lines and blocking together.

It was the first time

In many months

Where I was focusing on helping someone else with their problems

Rather than stewing over mine

And the next night

He was wonderful

We all swallowed him up in a group hug backstage after the show finished

Celebrating what an incredible feat he had done

And the season started to change

The skies began to clear

Spring arrived

And with it

I got my rest

And sustainably finished the show

And ten years later

I find myself sitting in a cafe

Thinking about the first time I asked for help

Hope this helps

X

How to Wait Well

“Hey Sheasby.

I’d love to know how you navigate a period of unemployment after the high of a main stage show. I’m finding that one day I’m consistent and then I drop off the next. Without that external pressure of a rehearsal or call time, or even an audition to tape, I consistently have to mine that resource for motivation to be creative and ‘progress’ forward (whatever that means!) Definitely difficult. Thanks again.

Cheers, Larry” (Name changed for privacy)

Hey Larry

Thank you for this question

A few things to discuss here,

This question comes up a lot with professional actors

Why?

Well

Because the majority of an acting career is waiting.

The busiest year I’ve experienced professionally

I had four jobs back to back

One film & three TV series (2 BBC & 1 Netflix)

Zig-zagging between Australia, USA & New Zealand

6 directors

4 characters

3 accents

1 overweight bag with my life crammed into it

But as busy as I felt at the time

When I look back and do the math

The total amount of days I was actually on set during that year, in costume, filming in front of the camera

Was probably only around 45-50 days

What the hell was going on the rest of the time?

Sure - there is all the prep stuff…

Research

Costume fittings

Accent lessons

Private acting sessions

Prop training

Stunt training

Etc, etc

But even with all that…

Our industry comes with an insane amount of waiting

Particularly for actors

Waiting for the producers to decide if we get the job or not

Waiting during the negotiating phase

Waiting for confirmation of the contract

Waiting for the job to actually begin (This last film I just did, I waited 2 years for it to start)

Waiting for approval on character details like costume, accent, etc etc

Waiting to meet the director and cast

Waiting for the final draft of the script

Waiting to find out what scenes we are filming tomorrow

Waiting to be contractually released so we can try get another job

AND THEN

All the waiting when we finally do get on set

In between scenes

In between shots

In between setups

In between takes

My god

4am start, dressed and ready to film by 8 am, only to actually start filming at 6 pm!

So, if I’m going to spend more time “waiting” than actually giving my work in front of the lens

The question then becomes

How can I wait well regardless of external factors taking their time

Firstly lets just address the concept of fulfilment:

Just because we spent the day waiting doesn’t mean we have to go to bed unfulfilled

We have 3 requirements for fulfilment

One: Sense of Competence - Am I actually contributing value to the tribe?

Two: Sense of Connection - Am I doing this with people I have genuine relationships with?

And Three: Sense of Authenticity - Am I still able to “do me” within the tribe? Serving the tribe in a way that’s honest & aligned with my values, boundaries etc

Let’s take those 3 aspects into consideration as we move forward

Okay

The Golf Ball Metaphor

I’ll just give the quick version

A professor walks into the class with a big empty jar

She then fills the jar with golf balls and asks the class if the jar is full?

“Yes” They say

She then adds pebbles into the jar which fill in all the gaps between the golf balls

She then asks again if the jar is now full?

“Yes” they respond

She then adds sand into the jar which fill in all the tiny gaps in between the pebbles

Full now?

“YES”

Lastly, the professor picks up a glass of wine and pours it into the jar until the wine reaches the surface

Alright

What’s the point

The jar was full from the start when there were the least amount of objects inside it

This leads us to the question

What are your golfballs?

What are the fewest & most important areas of your life which

If taken care of

Provide you with a sense of fulfilment

Regardless of you waiting in your acting career.

Your health?

Your relationships?

Your wealth?

Your environments?

Your religion?

Education

Your work/contribution?

Etc

There’s a tonne of rabbit holes to go down here

(Which I do in my career course - shameless plug: https://www.actorsblueprint.com/course)

But what’s clear is that no acting job is going to magically come fix everything

I have seen so many actors over the years

Absolutely devastated at not getting the job

Not because of how much they wanted to actually play the role

But because of how much they wanted to escape from their situation.

Now, I would be lying if I was to say I never felt a sense of relief at getting a job

Like everything was going to be okay

But that feeling never really lasted more than a day or two

Before I’d come back down to earth and realise

The buck stops with me.

I have to admit

My life has never magically gotten better because I got an acting role

But damn sure my acting has gotten better because I started working on building a more fulfilling life.

Alright let’s go in another direction

As I started to mature out of my 20’s and enter my 30’s

I had more & more close colleagues

Working professional artists whom I respected and loved

For whatever personal or professional reasons

Reach out to external accountability

(In the form of therapists, psychologists or councillors)

And a theme which became very apparent very quickly

Was a theme of “of course”

“Of course you’re anxious”

“Of course you’re depressed”

“Of course you’re rattled & confused”

Why?

Well

Explain your lifestyle as an unemployed actor to anyone who has a degree in the mental health sciences

And they will probably look at you with some curiosity

Homo sapiens

We are creatures of habit

The sun rises

We behave in predictable ways and do habitual things

The sun then sets

Repeat

Now, you take the average actor

Kick them out of drama school or a professional job

Where they are told where to go and what to do at all times

And tell them

Go do whatever you want with all the free time in the world

AND you don’t know where your next pay check will come from

Which will effect your ability to eat and have shelter

Mmm

“Of course”

Now

Tell an actor to add some structure to their day and their might be a bit of resistance

To which I believe the most helpful reminder here is that of

Do the least you think you can handle

Remember

Amateurs try to lots. Pros do less, that’s why they do it better.

The point is

Give yourself to walls to play within

There are only so many days you can drink cocktails on the beach before your body starts screaming

“Hey… We gonna do something or what!?”

So

In addressing the second part of your question

“consistently have to mine that resource for motivation”

I say

Don’t

That sounds like way too much work!

Relying on motivation… that sounds bloody exhausting

Why?

Because that’s relying on emotions

Which change every second of the day

What do I think is actually worth relying on?

Brainless process

Brainless structure

Brainless systems

Processes which are so easy that they take care of the work for you

Keep asking yourself

What would this look like it was easy?

What would working on my craft look like if it were easy?

What would waiting for the next job look like if it were easy?

That two minute message to your reader which says:

“Hi. Wanna meet at mine on Wednesday at 2pm for 2 hours? We can chat for 30. Then self tape for 45 minutes each.”

That sixty second phone call to that class or course which says:

“I’m in!”

That one email to that coach that says:

“When are you next available? I would love to make progress”

Keep it simple.

Now, personally,I don’t believe in talent

But I do believe some artists are really great at putting themselves in helpful environments with other helpful people

Which makes growth and fulfilment inevitable

Make that easy

And the rest will take care of itself

Hope this helps

x

Danger On Set

Many years ago

I was working on a movie

I flew to the island for rehearsals two weeks before filming commenced

Part of those rehearsals included fight choreography

When I rocked up to that first stunt rehearsal

We did some basic warm up drills

And then commenced working on some fights

I’ve done plenty of fight choreography in my years as a professional actor

We had plenty of it at drama school

And probably more than half the jobs I have had have involved some kind of physical altercation

(Just last month I shot my first under water fight scene)

This means I’ve had plenty of time with stunties

Now

It’s a small town vibe in our Australian industry

So I have worked with several fight choreographers & stunties multiple times

And have gotten to know them quite well

A wonderful stunty, Ben, has double me at least six or seven times

Point being

I have some radar for what a normal fight rehearsal looks like

As well as having at least some level of understanding and awareness of what their job entails

And what a normal collaboration between actors and stunties looks like

So I found it a little strange when

During this particular rehearsal

My gut felt a little off

Hard to explain

Just certain things being said

Little short cuts here and there

As well as the sudden (and strange) encouragement of intensity only once the director had walked in

A kind of “make me look good” vibe

Mmm

Anyway

Later that night

I sat silently eating dinner

And just couldn’t shake the strange feeling

My gut was still off

In fact

It was off just enough for me to let it lead

I picked up the phone

And reached out to a particular stunt coordinator

Someone who I would literally trust with my life

Just flagging my situation and seeing if he knew something I didn’t

He texted back within thirty seconds.

To say that he went out of his way to protect me

Is a drastic understatement

He explained everything

All of the chaos that was associated with that certain individual in the industry

And dear god

The injuries of people who were under that persons supervision…

It was terrifying

One stunty will never walk the same

Another almost got squashed by a falling car

And most tragically

One young man sadly never made it home to his baby daughter

Okay

Hairs were standing up on the back of my neck by now

This persons advice?

“Mike

Take care of yourself.

You have experience

So if you notice something is off

Listen to it

And go straight to your safety supervisor or first AD”.

I thanked him profusely

And off I went

To make a movie

With a fight choreographer who had a very iffy wrap sheet

And what happened?

On the second day of filming

I had a big fight scene

I had to punch the antagonist

Then he had to grab me by the throat

And slam me down on a wooden table.

As we were getting ready to begin filming

I realised I wasn’t wearing a back pad to protect my spine

So I asked the choreographer

“Could I please get my pad?”

His response?

“Na, you won’t need it”

Huh?

Ooo

There it is

That little gem

Dissonance

The lack of harmony in the mind or body

Millions of years of biology doing it’s best to protect me

I noticed it

Took a breath

And this time

I made a new choice

I turned instead to the safety supervisor and said

“I would like my back pad please”

…

Now

It might not seem like much

But I think about this moment a lot

I am someone who generally walks around pretty terrified

I don’t think that’s an uncommon thing

I see it in my colleagues on set

I see it in my classes & clients

Heck

An Oscar winning director once walked passed me on the first day of filming and said

“I have no fucking idea what I’m doing”

Yep

Everyone is afarid

It aint good, bad, right or wrong

But what fills me with joy

Is when I see artists & performers change their relationship with fear

Rather than wishing it away

When I see them respond to dissonance

Rather than react to it

When I see them make a new choice

A choice to do things their way

Like letting the body lead

Even when its scary to do so

Like connecting with others

When you just want to hide in your shell

Or like reaching out for help

Even when you feel like you’re going to look like an idiot.

Yes… I might still be an idiot

But at least this idiot still has a spine

Hope this helps

x

Get Out The Bubble

There is something more important

Than representing your industry

That is

Representing human beings

And human beings…

Are designed to survive

We are full of fear

Fear of change

Fear of difference

Fear of the unknown

Remember

The most boring thing for a casting director

Is when an actor walks in wearing all black

With a “I live for acting” tattoo on their forehead

Casting directors want people

Directors want humans

Producers want messy, complex, grey, flawed members of society

And that’s hard to give

Hard to supply

When actors stay in their bubble

What bubble you say?

Remember that moment when Trump became president?

Our industry laughed, joked, ridiculed in unison during the election

There was no way it could actually happen!

And then

It happened

That’s the bubble I’m talking about

The bubble that says we don’t understand the other side

The bubble that says our perspective is the only one we know

The bubble that says we judge what we don’t know

Now

Of course

No one thinks they are in the bubble

I certainly didn’t

Then I moved to LA and sat down in a waiting room for a casting and realised

I was wearing the exact same casual outfit as all four guys sitting next to me

Yep

Maybe

Just maybe

I loved the idea of being an actor

More than the craft of acting itself

Maybe

If my job as an actor is to have moments of human connection on the stage or in front of the lens

Then maybe it’s time to focus on being a human being

Maybe it’s time for change

Time to find common ground with people I previously judged

Time to listen to the problems of people whom I thought had none

Time to go live in far away countries

Time to go make mistakes

Time to get shitty jobs

Time to travel

Time to fail

Time to jump

Time to give up

Time to carry the weight of responsibly

Time to feel brave

Time to feel terrified

Time to be a messy, grey, complex human being

Time to live

Hope this helps

x

More Important than Being Good

At the end of 2023

Just before the Chrissy break

I had set up a meeting with my dear agent

Just to have lunch in person and catch up

At the last minute she cancelled

Hey, no biggie

“We’ll catch up when the new year begins”

But

Surprisingly

I remember actually feeling a bit vulnerable

Something seemed a bit off

I noticed it

Focussed on what I could control

And moved on

Chrissy break came and went

And after a beautiful summer of watching my daughter splash around in the rock pools

I was walking down a cobbled street in Sydney

When my phone rang

“Nixxx”

That first agent call for the new year

Something I’ve experienced thirteen summers in a row since leaving drama school

I picked up the phone with enthusiasm

But was met with an strange tone

I stopped

“Mike…

This is really hard

It’s not great news I’m afraid”

I went into tunnel vision

My body immediately began protecting itself

And my imagination ran wild

Within two seconds I convinced myself I was about to be dropped

For being too patient

For taking my time

For saying no too many times over the last few years

I noticed the chaotic & fearful thoughts

Stop, Mike

Breath

Bring it back to her

“What is it Nixxx?”

I asked

“Oh mike…

The time has come”

I realised what was occurring

I knew it was going to happen at some point

My agent had begun her career as a casting director many decades ago

Moved to one of the big agencies for another decade

And eventually opened her own agency

And as the years went by

I was asked by more and more people

“What will you do when your agent retires?”

That time snuck up on me

Sooner than I thought it would

And suddenly I found myself standing in the street

Realising…

Change had arrived.

We had a long conversation

Of course, there were many tears

Many questions

The plan was to close shop within six months

We eventually said our sniffly goodbyes

And I sat down

I find it interesting looking back

That when we were in connection on the phone

The bulk of our conversation was based around her

How was she doing?

Was she okay?

How was she coping?

Having to call all her clients and go through these conversations over and over again?

Dealing with one of the biggest chapter changes in life?

Letting go of work she has contributed for many decades?

But as soon as I was alone

I suddenly began to think about myself

What the hell will happen to me?

“Actors will flood into the industry!”

I told myself

A huge urge to rush came flooding into my body

I should act fast!

I should send as many emails as soon as possible!

If I don’t act now I will get left behind!

I dropped my head

That felt…

Awful

Exhausting

Heavy

No…

That’s not what I want

An old voice came into my head

“When you feel the urge to speed up… slow down”

Yep

Clear

I just had the most wonderful professional relationship for thirteen years

I have explored & written about it multiple times

The factors that I believe made the most significant difference in building that relationship were:

Taking my time

And letting my body lead

So

I realised

The most important thing to do in this moment

Also happened to be the most terrifying:

Nothing

I decided to do nothing

I would rather enjoy the last six months we have together

And take my time in finding that new professional relationship.

So off I went

To do nothing!

The months went by

Nixxx and I had our normal weekly call to check in

She was inundated with photos of my daughter being a beautiful dork

And we even squeezed in one more gig together

But as June arrived

I realised it was time to step into the unknown

Now

You may have noticed from the passed three weeks

There has been a sneaky theme going on

How to build that new agent relationship

Yep

I have been wading through the confusing and scary world myself

Trying to find clarity

And then passing it on

Side note:

I you wanna know how that process started…

I went to my partner

Told her I was about to step into a world of vulnerability

And let her know I’m going to likely be feeling really scared for a couple weeks

And damn was I accurate

The very first meeting I had

I lasted about ten minutes before I blurted out

“Hey…

I’m actually feeling really nervous right now

I haven’t done this in over a decade and kind of don’t know what to do”

To which we both burst out laughing

Grown ups = Big kids not knowing what to do

And that’s okay.

I am still mid process

Working my way through confusion, fear, excitement, guilt, sadness, rejection, humiliation, pride, arrogance, and all the glorious ups & downs a process like this brings for any artist.

And I will, no doubt, be passing on my learnings over the weeks to come

But something has been pulling at my sleeve

As the meeting have gone on

It’s caused me to really think about the passed thirteen years

About what has flowed

Or more accurately

Why something has flowed

I harp on a tonne about investing one’s time and energy in two things:

Skills (Getting as good as possible)

And character (Behaving in line with values)

(Things I am still working on daily)

But

The last few weeks have provided me with a bit of a shock

Skills and character

Only happen because of one thing

One very crucial thing…

People

The people you invest your time with

The friend you grab a coffee with after being rejected for the 74th time

The fellow student you dance like an idiot with to blow off steam

The colleague you help with that self tape which lands them that role

The teacher who supported you when you believed with all your heart and soul that you should throw in the towel

The coach who makes you do that 19th take to help you break through that wall

The mentor who gives you the space to feel heard

The agent who says “take your time” when you feel the urge to rush

The best friend who celebrates that little win with you

The partner who holds your face when its covered in salty tears

No human exists outside of connection with others

No artist exists outside of connection with other humans

And no actor builds a fulfilling career without people they love

So…

Here’s a nod to the people you share your time with on this earth

The human beings you invest your energy with as an artist

The people

Your people

Your people

Hope this helps

x

Agent Email Draft

Hello

Nothing fancy here

Just thought I would share a rough draft for reaching out to an agent

Hope this helps x

———————

Dearest XXXXX

My name is Michael Sheasby. I’m currently filming NCIS Sydney and am leading a yet-to-be-released feature film called Two Ugly People (which was pre-selected for the Venice Film Festival last week).

My dear friend XXXXXX, whom you represent, has mentioned wonderful things about you over the past decade. In fact, I have several close friends & colleagues who have spoken so highly of you - so I wanted to reach out. 

My agent of the past thirteen years, XXXXXXX, has decided to retire at the end of this financial year (June 2024). It’s been a truly wonderful professional relationship, but I realise it’s time I begin conversations in regards to moving forward professionally. 

I’m wondering if you have some time over the next few weeks to have a chat about potential representation? 

I would love to hear back from you, XXXXX.

Sincerely,

Michael 

0422XXXXXX

—————————

Showreel: https://vimeo.com/693847781 

IMDB: https://www.imdb.com/name/nm4650436 

Awards Highlights:

• AACTA Nominee for Best Supporting Actor (The Nightingale, 2019)

• Film Critics Circle of Australia Award Nomination for Best Supporting Actor (The Nightingale, 2020)

• Casting Guild of Australia Rising Star Award Winner (2018)

• Heath Ledger Scholarship (Runner Up, 2012)

Screen Highlights:

• The Nightingale (Dir. Jennifer Kent, 2018)

• Two Ugly People (Dir. Peter Skinner, 2024)

• The Secrets She Keeps (BBC & Channel Ten, 2020)

• The Luminaries (BBC, 2020)

• Hacksaw Ridge (Dir. Mel Gibson, 2016)

Theatre Highlights:

• Valentine in Arcadia (STC, 2016)

• King Henry in Henry V (Bell Shakespeare, 2014)

• Romeo in Romeo & Juliet (Bell Shakespeare, 2011)

Training Highlights: 

• Bachelor of Dramatic Arts, NIDA (2010)

• Trained extensively with private acting coaches such as Elizabeth Kemp, Miranda Harcourt & Susan Batson, among others. 

Which Actors Will Work?

When examining why an actor will or won’t work

There are several factors worth considering

One - Skills

Are you any good at what you do?

Can you contribute generous work to the tribe?

Especially within the style of acting you are orientating yourself toward.

Two - Character

Does your behaviour as a professional (and human) make people want to work with you?

Ya know, the basics…

Kindness, honesty, willingness, respect, being on time, prepared etc etc

Three - Creators

Those who don’t wait

Those who go first

Write their own stuff

Put on their own stuff

Make their own stuff

The ones who aren’t sitting in a cave full of cobwebs

Four - Connections

People

Reputation

Word of mouth

…Networking

Ooo

That word

“Networking”

If that word makes your tummy queasy

Change its meaning:

Just hang out with people your body likes hanging out with.

Five - Circumstances

This is a funny one

But it’s worth flagging

Sometimes our circumstances breed work

When my buddy had his first child, he was overwhelmed with the offerings of acting jobs that flowed over the following year

All openly coming from a place of “we want to support you as you step into parenthood”

Six - Social Proof

Proof you can deliver

A resume of stuff that convinces directors or producers that it’s a great decision to hire you

A resume that says they can trust you with the ball

Now…

For number seven

Drumroll please

Trends

What’s currently hot right now

And what’s not

Your nose shape

Age

Skin colour

Eye colour

Sexuality

Gender

Cultural background

Whom you may (or may not) look similar too

Etc etc

Since the day I entered into drama school

I have been bewildered as to how much focus goes toward trends

“You will work (because of this thing that’s out of your control)!”

Or

“You won’t work (because of this thing that’s out of your control)!”

I have been told explicitly

In professional board rooms with long glass tables:

“You will work because of your (skin, eyes, hair, gender, sexuality)”

Fours years later I was explicitly told on a giant conference call:

“You won’t work because of your (skin, sexuality, gender)”

And you what I found to be most interesting?

Both times they were wrong

When I was told I will work non stop (based off factors other than my skills)

I didn’t get much work at all for almost two years.

When I was told I won’t work at all (despite my skills) because of factors out of my control

I immediately jumped right into the busiest year I have ever had working as an actor

So what’s going on here?

Lets look to investing

The desire to predict the trend

The desire to predict the stock market

Has driven humans crazy for hundreds of years

It is something that is still fought for every day

With tooth and nail

That is despite the fact that no-one has ever done it consistently over their lifetime

Even the most successful investors

Are the first ones to say

You cannot predict it

So why try so hard to predict or chase the trend?

Why spend every day being in a state of anxiety, concern, worry and stress?

Well

It’s a dream case short cut

Imagine doing no work but watching your value increase dramatically?

Imagine

Tomorrow

You wake up

And boom

You’re instantly the most valuable actor in the world

Despite your actual ability, your skills, being the exact same.

Damn

Money to pay bills for generations

Any car or home you’d like

All the freedom to choose what job you do next

That director

This script

Those colleagues

Sip margaritas on the beach for as many days in a row as you like

Thank you very much!

That is certainly easier than the other option

What is that other option, you ask?

Show up

Day after day

And find joy in the effort

Find meaning, purpose and bliss in the boring bits

The long, hard and repetitive work.

There is a very important piece of the puzzle here

Something which I find delightfully interesting

There is actually one single category of investors

Who consistently do very well over the long run

Very well

Who are they?

Those who forget they have investment accounts

The people who started an account

Made a small investment

Then get on with their lives

What is this telling us?

The exhausting daily desire to try predict, chase and control trends

Destroys investors

So

Imagine

Being an actor

And getting on with your life

Forgetting all about what the next trend is

Forgetting about trying to chase, predict or grab onto what’s hot or not

Forgetting about the angsty stuff that’s out of your control

And simply getting on with finding joy in the process

Imagine

Being an actor

And when people say things like:

“Oh, you’re a woman in your 30’s, sorry there’s no work for you”

Instead of listening to that very short term focussed person

Instead of throwing in the towel

You get on with your life

You get on with the things within your control

The skill acquisition

The hanging out with people you love

The focusing on giving your best work

One scene at a time

What’s my point?

Getting work

Will be a combined result of things that are both inside and outside of your control

But I can assure you

It will be a vastly more fulfilling & sustainable career

If you place your focus on the things that are actually within your control

Your skills

Your character

And not sitting on the couch waiting for the things you can’t control about yourself to be the next best flavour of the month.

Back to our initial question

Which actors will work?

Consistently, sustainably, for the decades to come?

The ones who focus and invest in the things they can control.

One more story before I go take my daughter to choose her birthday balloons

When I first went to LA

I sat in Heath Ledger’s agents office

There was a framed poster on the wall

It was of Heath as the Joker

With a personal letter scribbled on the bottom

I still remember

Being in that city

The most trend-chasing environment in the world

And reading the last line Heath had scribbled

“Work hard

And be nice to people”

Hope this helps

x

7 Things Agents Want

Almost every week

Someone reaches out for guidance in regards to finding a new agent

And I have noticed a pattern with my helping in regards to this crucial area:

It tends to be very focussed on the artist themselves

The artists’ values

The artists’ boundaries

The kind of relationship the artist wants to begin building

But

What about the agent?

What about what the agent wants?

There are three parts to an artist/agent relationship

1: The artist

2: The agent

3: The artist AND the agent

So

The agent (just like you) makes up two out of three of those parts

Therefore

Wouldn’t it be wise to consider what the agent is yearning for too?

Mmm

Now, I have had some interesting circumstances over the passed little while

Circumstances which I will be sharing openly over the coming months

But for now

What I can share

Is that I have had the unique privilege of some damn open an honest conversations with agents

What about you ask?

Well…

What they want!

How they want to be approached

So

I thought I would take everything I have heard

Distill it down to its essential parts

And give it over to you

Here goes

WHAT AGENTS WANT

One: Use their main email address

Hundreds of actors send through emails every week to generic office email addresses

They will most likely be given a copy-and-paste response by an assistant who won’t read them

So finding the agents’ specific email address is essential

What’s the problem here?

Well… they can be damn hard to get a hold of

You either need a trusted and respected mutual contact

Subscriptions to the top industry databases

Or simply the willingness to do some damn deep research

Some actors might say: “That’s not fair!”

Well

If an actor is going to give up on building arguably one of the most important professional relationships of their career because its “too hard to find an email address”…

Yeah

I don’t think I need to write out the obvious.

Two: Referral from an actor on their books

We are Homo sapiens

Connection is an essential part of our survival

It is deeply embedded in our biology

So if someone I love and respect says to me

“Hey Sheasby, I think it’s really worth having a cuppa with Jess about xyz, I think you guys will gel well”

That cuts out a lot of wondering about that persons character & work ethic on my end

Makes sense

Therefore

Digging through the agencies books

To find a trusted colleague & asking for a referral

Can do wonders for dispelling any doubt on the agents end

And drastically increase the chances as to whether your email will actually be read any further than the opening few lines

Three: Genuine letter

This one made me giggle

As one agent mentioned

“When I open up the email and see a four page essay

I just think…

Oh, fuck off”

Ha!

Yup

Agents are busy bees

And as all humans

They want to invest their time and energy

Into things which will create an energising return on their inputs on this earth

Four pages simply to ask to have a chat in person?

No thanks

Do the work

Writing an honest but clear & sincere paragraph

Tells the agent you have actually done the work

You’ve thought about this approach

As opposed to simply rambling and expecting someone to invest time which they could be spending with their family or things of importance

Remember

A glass of water can be bloody delicious!

Four: Link to your showreel

Quote

“Let me see your best work in under three minutes”

Clear

Five: Link to your IMDB (or equivalent site)

Social proof

Makes sense

Six: Highlights only!

List those few highlight jobs only

Highlight awards

Highlight training

and

What helps a lots…

Share what’s about to come

What are you currently working on or what’s going to be released in the coming months

Why?

This demonstrates momentum

The proof that you are still pushing that stone

The proof that you are continuing to release generous work out into the world

That you’re not sitting at home

Surrounded by cobwebs

Waiting for others to do the work for you

Seven: A follow up call

After several days

If you haven’t heard back

Give the office (or agent themselves) a call just to check in.

Done.

That’s it!

Seven things agents want

Now for the elephant in the room

Rejection

All actors sign a contract

That they are stepping into a world where they get continuously rejected

This is undeniable

Unavoidable

And not to be delusional about

To pretend you you won’t get rejected

Or worse

That you don’t care about being rejected…

Nope

Permission to feel what you’re feeling.

One day

When my agent eventually retires

After several days, weeks, or months of crying everything out into my pillow

Grieving over one of the most important relationships in my life

I will get up

Watch the sunrise

And begin the process of opening myself up to the world of building a new professional relationship

What’s the guarantee?

I’m risking rejection

And that’s damn scary

My body doesn’t like that feeling

So giving myself that little reminder

Just as I’m about to click send

That I might feel scared

I might feel nervous

To open myself up to the world

To open my arms out for a safe hug from another human

Which I might not receive...

And that that’s okay

Hope this helps

x

What Makes You Valuable?

Once upon a time

I was sitting on a chair

Chatting with an actor who I very much respect

This actor is whispered about behind their back

By producers, directors & editors

Why?

“They consistently deliver brilliant work which serves the story

They rock up on time

They are kind and respectful

And they make every actor standing opposite them better

They literally raise the skill level of the whole team”

That’s one hell of a reputation

(Picture me looking up at them puppy-eyed)

Anywho

We were having a little debrief after I had just returned from my first experience of a lead role in film

He asked me how it had gone

My response?

“You know

I’m sitting with the realisation that leading on film

Is almost a style of it’s own”

He looked back at me

With a wry smile

And said

“My friend…

I couldn’t agree more”

Mmm

I haven’t stopped thinking about this

Maybe because of the sneakiness at which he said it

(Like Fantastic Mr. Fox passing on a little secret of where to find some delicious chickens)

Time has since passed

Summer came

I watched my daughter learn to crawl

I played with my octopus friends in the rock pool

(I think they get a bit annoyed with me these days)

And did my best to remain patient until seeing the film

That moment came last month

I finally got to watch the first cut

Six months after we spent those four weeks submerged in that highway side motel

My first attempt at a lead role on film

And?

To say I was bewildered

Is an understatement

What.

The.

Heck.

I had two years to think about that role

I had months to prep

I spent night after night combing over the text

I spent hours upon hours with external accountability (coaches & colleagues) in preparation

And all the work I planned on seeing

Wasn’t there

It’s like everything that I tried to give

Didn’t make the cut

And all that was left over

Was simply the stuff where I wasn’t in control

Where I was caught off guard

Where there was just a messy, breathing human being

Jarring to see

It’s like all the director wanted me to do was nothing

mmm

That’s not quite it…

Present

That’s it

It’s like all he wanted me to do was be present

And when I asked the director about it

He said casually

“Oh… yeah… I just want actors to be alive in-between action and cut”

So if I’m reflecting accurately here

I think I did my job in terms of preparation

But when it came to the work that resulted from that preparation

The editor and director favoured the takes where I gave up control

Gave up trying to show my prep

And that

Honestly

Feels a bit scary to me

This might sound dramatic…

But it feels like I’ve been caught standing naked

And I don’t like it

The fearful part of me is fighting for the audience to see something else

To see some smart choices, or strong looks

The cool stuff I prepared to give

But that was all left on the cutting room floor

And instead

I’m left looking at a vulnerable, confused, grey, mess of a human

(Like when Marge Simpson walks in on Mr Burns in the shower)

Yeah

Sometimes we don’t like what we see in the mirror

Now

What’s the potential blindspot here?

This movie is a psychological drama / romance on film

And it’s very much a festival film

made for people who love the craft of film

And obviously

That comes the prioritising of particular technical aspects

So what about other styles?

Let’s expand

Another example here

Comes from the passed few weeks

Where I have disappeared to, you ask?

I have been busy sailing the seven seas

YARRR

No seriously

I have been dressed as a pirate

Whilst pretending to be the captain of large, 150 year old ship

As it has been sailing around Sydney Harbour

With a hundred plus crew, cast & extras on board

Surrounded by the police, navy, tug boats, camera drones and diving barges

And one fake parrot

But

This job is nn episodic cop drama

American evening TV

Okay

A new style to sink ones teeth into

Very plot heavy

Very exposition heavy

And lot’s of action

Did anyone care that I was alive in-between action and cut?

Mmmmm

Not as important as some other things

Did anyone care that I understood the point of the scene?

The function of my character?

The fact that a shouted particular words?

Absolutely

I was there to antagonise the protagonist

I was there to drive a plot line

And the result-based directions were flowing

“Give me one that’s more mean Sheasby!”

“Okie dokie!”

What’s my point?

Different styles value different technical aspects

Neither good, bad, right or wrong

Each style having it’s place for the people who enjoy it

So where the hell does that leave us?

We want to give generous work on screen

And we want to do that regardless of the style

So where

In an ocean of options

Do we want to allocate our resources to make sure we can contrite generous work

No matter the style?

Preparation

And

Surrender

These two qualities are inescapable

No matter the job

No matter the level of pay

No matter the time allocated

No matter the colleagues

No matter the story

You will be asked to

A) Prepare your work

This means cold hard script analysis

Now way around it - You need to make it make sense to you

And

B) You will be asked to surrender to the present moment on the day

This means giving up control of how you think it SHOULD go

Trust me

Joaquin speaks on this beautifully

He can do all the prep in the world

Visualise his entrance into that scene

Pushing that door open and giving that look and saying his line that way

But when he rocks up to set the following day

The door opens inward, not outwards!

Say bye bye to all your lovely plans :)

Put all your eggs into preparation but don’t want to surrender?

Might be a bit exhausting trying to control all the things outside of your control

Put all your eggs into being present but haven’t done your prep?

Might be a bit selfish when none of your beautiful work actual serves the story

So

Get good at preparation

(making the script make sense)

And get good at surrendering

(giving up control on the day)

What’s the fun part?

You get to enjoy the dance between these two sides of the same coin

You get to relish in doing all of that homework & then throwing it out the damn window!

You get to climb that entire mountain of preparation only to reach the top and realise you now have to jump off the sheer cliff on the other side!

What’s my point?

Prepare to surrender

(Sounds delicious)

Hope this helps

X

Taking Risks

QUESTION:

Hey Mike! I have this project coming up. Massive for me. But the problem is I am terrified of the role. It requires really deep work from me; physical skills, emotional access & tonnes of research. Part of me wants to try, but the other part is completely terrified that I'll screw it up, not deliver the work I so desperately want to, and that I will waste the time of the wonderful cast and crew I'll be working with. So how can I trust myself to deliver when the time comes? How can I get over the fact that I feel I'm not good enough to deliver? It feels like more than self doubt, it feels like to me that I'm actually not capable of giving the work required for this role. AHHHH! Thanks so much Michael.

Yours truly,

JD

ANSWER:

Hey JD

Thank you for sending this question in

What a bloody beautiful problem to have!

The gig is already on the table

Congratulations!

Now

To dive in and commit?

Or

Let it go and pass the ball to someone else?

Let’s cut to the chase

It is very clear - based off your question - that you want to do this

You desperately want to deliver generous work

The problem?

It’s just bloody uncomfortable taking a risk when you might feel like an idiot

And how understandable!

We are social creatures

Always in relationship to each other

(No human exists outside of connection to others)

So feeling silly in front of others is an important emotion

It’s the bodies way of saying

“Hey! Stay safe! Don’t get kicked out of the tribe!”

And that signal has helped us get this far as a species

Which is a beautiful thing

Therefore

Let’s not waste any time wishing away those fears around caring what others think

They are totally normal

And likely to continue for the rest of your career

Yep

Sorry to say

But I can’t think of a great artist who doesn’t care what others think

Doesn’t get self conscious

Or doesn’t get scared when it comes to sharing their work with the tribe

The trick is

They have something they care about more

The work they are trying to contribute

It’s not that they don’t care what others think

It’s that they are clear about what’s worth caring about more.

So

Let’s notice the dissonance (your body protecting you from rejection)

And bring it back to what you want most (contributing generous, playful & honest work).

Now

When it coms to “screwing it up”

Mmm

Do me a favour

Pull out a note pad and pen

And for ten minutes

I want you to write down the achievements you are proudest of

Then

Trace those achievements back to where they began

Where was that first tiny action step that started the journey toward that achievement?

What do you notice?

Chances are

That achievement

Started by you taking some small & uncomfortable first step

Let’s use some logic here

If the things you’re most proud of, grateful for, fulfilled with in your career & life

All started with taking a risk

No matter how big or small

What’s that telling you?

Yep

Taking risks is a totally normal part of the process

So

To be clear

You want to give generous work!

You are guaranteed to have normal feelings of discomfort pop up!

But what if you take the risk and it fails?

And you just fall on your face

Hard

Well

I have never

Worked with an artist, actor, musician, athlete

Who has said

“You know mike, I wish I never took that risk”

But I certainly have heard the sentence

“I wish I took that risk”

Very, very often

So

The question becomes

What will you regret less several years from now…

Taking that risk you were yearning for even if it meant feeling silly for a moment?

Or

Staying in your comfort zone and passing the ball onto someone else?

Just remember

Taking risks

Means there’ll likely be an increase in fear

And an increase in fear

Requires an increase in two very important factors

Slowness & Kindness

When you feel the urge to go hard and fast

That’s a beautiful time to go slow & be kind to yourself

There is a reason why so many generous artists behave in slow & kind ways

They didn’t get to the point where they could sustainably give generous work

By behaving in unsustainable ways.

No one wins by you rushing

And certainly, no one wins by you beating yourself up

So

Permission to slow down

And permission to be kind to yourself

Now

I’m really drawn to a particular part of your question

The words:

“actually not capable”

Ah

Okay

Now this gets fun

We can talk about the mental side all we like

But it seems there’s something here which might not be just a story you’re telling yourself

There might be a very practical reality here

If you can sit there and honestly say that the skills required are skills you don’t yet possess?

Okay

Go possess them

What do I mean?

Confidence will come from skills

From your body knowing it can actually do the thing

And reality will make you very aware of whether you actually have the skills or not to do the thing

So

What are the exact skills you require in order to deliver work you can feel proud of?

And

Just as important

Who are the best people capable of helping you develop those skills?

I don’t care if it’s screen skills

Theatre skills

Comedy skills

Emotional access

Horse riding

Character research

Building backstories

Boxing

Ballet

Blacksmithing

Whatever

Find out what you actually need to be proficient at in order to deliver work you’ll feel proud of

Then go seek out the best coaches, colleagues, mentors, etc

Who can help you develop those skills

Remember

Skill development requires a big investment of your resources

But skill maintenance takes a significantly lesser hit on your time & energy

Meaning

Those skills you’re investing in

They will be there with you for the rest of your career

Once they are in the body

They are in the body

No one can take them away from you

And

(In case you need another reminder)

Skills are the most important investment you can make in your career

I don’t know a generous artist who regrets the time & effort they invested in developing their skills

Curious what choices you make, JD

Hope this helps

X

Jealous Actors

QUESTION:

Hey Sheasby, I have a question for you. I’m finding it rough lately when I hear good news from my actor friends (booking jobs, callbacks, this that). I feel like I’m in a good place creatively but at a stand-still professionally (i.e booking jobs & getting callbacks). I celebrate my wins/opportunities and focus on process, and I’m more content in my life than I have been in years. But. I find it hard to avoid (or probably more apt) deal with my feelings of jealousy for the quantifiable industry successes that others get. It’s like an ugly reminder that it doesn’t matter how good I feel about what I’m doing, the industry doesn’t want me right now. And this means I judge myself more for not only not being where I want to be in my career (I know, I know, impossible), but also for feeling jealous in the first place. I guess I’m asking if there are any mindset changes or practical things that would be valuable to get me back into a place where I can ‘Wait Free’, even when reminded of my lack of movement in the eyes of the industry?

Andrew The Giant x

ANSWER:

Mate

Thank you for this beautifully honest and open question

Yup

Jealousy

Man am I versed in that bad boy

Literally yesterday I saw a close friend pop up in a trailer for a new film and felt a sense of spite

A little moment of feeling left behind, like my work sucks, like I’m going nowhere, the industry doesn’t want me etc

And how damn understandable

When other people

Particularly close comrades

Get to do the thing we spend so long and hard working towards

Of course

Totally normal for the brain to kick into protective mode

We see people we love being rewarded for their years of dedication, commitment, hard work, patience etc

(Or… maybe we see what we believe to be a short cut or hand out happening for someone we believe doesn’t work as hard… Gulp!)

We see their efforts being valued

We see the tribe prop them up

And that causes reactions within ourselves

Reactions which carry with them a bunch of powerful shoulds (or should nots)

You should not be feeling those things towards your friends and colleagues

You should be a good actor and celebrate your friends’ wins

You should not feel negatively toward your colleagues

You should be positive and congratulate other people

You should should should

Bla bla bla

I want to make myself clear

Please don’t waste time pushing your beautiful bodies’ signals aside

Or judging them as something which needs to be swallowed and hidden

Feelings of jealousy are not good, bad, right or wrong

They are simply feelings

And the issue is never with what you’re feeling

The issue is judging what you’re feeling

Example

“I’m feeling jealous towards Doug… And that’s a bad thing”

I disagree

I don’t think feeling jealous is a bad thing

I think its a human thing

And that’s okay

Feeling jealous?

Great!

That tells me you’re a glorious human being

Messy, grey and complex

Every single actor on this earth

Has experienced jealousy toward another actor

We are in an industry with no clear linear pathway

We can go from walking on a red carpet today for a main role in a big feature film

To being on set saying one line of dialogue tomorrow

To not working for 18 months

To doing a fast food ad

To doing an indie theatre show where 8 people are in the audience

To being on an Aussie soap

To getting sixty thousand followers in a few weeks

To finishing that job

To losing all those followers in a few weeks

To getting no work for 6 months

To walking on a red carpet for your friends film (not yours)

Etc etc

It’s all higgildy piggly

And the more chaos & uncertainty

The more fear

And the more fear?

The more fighting to control things which are uncontrollable

God

When I type it out like that

I’m even more in favour of giving oneself permission to feel jealous

Of course an actor is going to feel jealous

To see a friend being celebrated for their efforts

That instantly brings up thoughts for me like

“They’re okay and I’m not

Their career is safe and mine is not

They’re going to get more work, pay rent, send a child to school… And im not”

Now

Let’s acknowledge a very important influence here

Media

Media does It’s absolute best to manipulate

Again, not good, bad, right or wrong

They tell stories to try make us care about what they would like us to care about (for whatever reason)

But one thing is for sure

There is a vast difference between the image of success

And what actual success is for the individual

Sometimes…

We can quickly be influenced into caring about things which are actually not that important to us

For example

Feeling jealoustoward another actor even though the path they are on doesn’t even align with yours

This of huge importance

Why?

The key to not giving a fuck

Is by being clear and honest

About what truly is worth giving a fuck about for you, and for now

The more clear & honest you are about what success looks like for you

The easier it will be for you to measure yourself by your own metrics

And not by the metrics of others

But let’s go back to your question

How to deal with jealousy when its actually present and plaguing the mind

I remember a time when my fears really started kicking up a notch

Previews for a show I was in at the Sydney Opera House began

And it was like my self doubt took steroids

The internal voices, the self doubt, the negative spiralling

It was running rampant

Actors I knew were coming every night

Actors who were working on shows that I desperately wanted to be on

I was jealous

Hook, line and sinker

And what’s worse

I was judging myself enormously for being jealous

“But I’m supposed to be kind and generous

Not spiteful, resentful, jealous!”

Nope

Humans feel those things

Messy, complex, humans feel all those things

However

It had gotten to the point where I felt truly exhausted

I was just tired of my brain going there

Moment after moment

I just wanted to focus on my work and enjoy my life

Not spend every 10 seconds on stage thinking about other people

I wanted change

And I wanted it fast

Opening night was coming soon and I was aware that if I didn’t take responsibility for my internal dialogue

It could take over

And before I knew it

The show would be over

So

I put my hand up

And after some wonderful guidance from my coach

I would sneak into the theatre 30 minutes for the doors open

I would sit on that stage

Stare out at those five hundred and fifty seats

Pick a random seat

And imagine an audience member sitting in it

An actor who’s opinion I cared about

An actor who I felt jealous of

An actor I felt resentful towards

In other words

I imagined a human being

And I would think of all the ways they were just like me

For example

Just like me

This person is seeking some happiness in their life

Just like me

This person is trying to avoid suffering in their life

Just like me

This person has known sadness, loneliness, dispair

Just like me

This person is seeking to fulfil their needs

Just like me

This person has no idea what they are doing in their life and is making it all up as they go along

Etc etc

Yup

That actor I’m jealous of

Resentful of

Jaded toward

They’re just a human being

And just like me

They’re trying to survive

They’re trying to avoid pain

They have hopes and dreams

They hide shame

Have regrets

Stew over the past

Worry about the future

They feel broken

They feel sad

And damn sure

They have moments

Where they feel jealous of other actors

…And that’s okay

Hope this helps

X

Career Management

At the age of 25

I learned something

Which made me furious

You see…

I was born in South Africa

And being a South African

One thing is guaranteed

You’re a Rugby Union fan

Rugby holds a special place in the heart of any South African

Especially those who experienced the 90’s

Ask any South African about what Mandela did for his nation using the sport of Rugby Union

And they will likely end up teary-eyed telling you that extraordinary story

Anyway

As a Springbok fan

There’s something we fear

The All Blacks

With the highest winning percentage of any sports team in the world

New Zealand’s rugby team has become a formidable force

Respected by all who stand opposite them on the pitch

So

When my friend messaged me a screen shot of a book which delved deep into the culture of the All Blacks

It was an easy decision to put aside two days and jump on the couch

“Let’s see what crazy secrets built the most successful team in the world”

I told myself

The book focussed on a very interesting period

One which most regard as the lowest point for the All Blacks

And how they went from being knocked out of the Rugby World Cup in the quarter finals

To winning the World Cup four years later

The book also focused heavily around the captain

How we was able to influence the culture of the team over that period of time

And what he did to turn a dire situation into one which bared many fruits

I can remember the moment when I turned the page

And read how the captain had no idea what to do next

They were at rock bottom

But saw no way forward

No way to create change

So…

He sought help.

I had to stop

The leader of the worlds most successful team

Asked for help

For guidance

Huh?

This didn’t make sense to me

If he is a professional performer

And one of the best in the world to do it

Why the hell would he ask for help?

This felt wrong to me

Weak

But that little morsel of information

Caused a crack in my fearful armour

One which resulted in many restless nights over the following month

I started to look

At the performers who inspired me most

The artists, musicians, athletes, entrepreneurs

Who did things their way

I had also spent years collecting data on all my favourite actors

Yep

The same thing kept popping up

Over and over again

I was met with what I believed to be one the weakest things someone could do

Asking for help.

The performers I loved

They sought guidance

They had coaches, mentors & external accountability

No matter where I dug

The romantic idea I had

That a favourite actor was just raw talent

Rocked up and did whatever their impulses said

And didn’t need anyone

Yep

It started to gently crumble

In fact

There was not a sustainably working artist I researched

Who I couldn’t find some form of external accountability for

Joaquin, Shia, Hardy

Perfect examples of this

To the public

These actors are insane and magical artists

But all have and use external accountability

People in their corner guiding them

From specific acting coaches

To colleagues they trust to help them learn their lines in a way that helps them give their best

No matter where I looked

It was there

Blatantly in front of me

“But I should be able to figure it out on my own

I should be able to solve it myself

I should be like a self cleaning oven

Doing the work and maintaining myself all alone”

This was during a two year period of my life

Where I had recently played the lead at the Sydney Opera House

And been directed by Mel Gibson alongside Andrew Garfield in a Warner Bros film

And had fallen on my face

Both times.

So I was yearning for change.

But

I did not want to start asking for help

I had 25 years of a “shut up and get on with it” mentality

However

There was something else that I was damn sure of

Doing the same thing and expecting a different result

Seemed delusional

So…

Knowing that going alone was unsustainable

I decided to step out of my comfort zone

And began seeking guidance

I found coaches, mentors and external accountability

Those who were taking care of the performers who inspired  me most

Some terrible

Some life changing

Some who have since passed

Some who I still treasure seeking guidance from still to this day

And I went from resenting the industry

To less than two years later working on my dream role and leaving set feeling fulfilled

Which (very fortunately) even got me a nomination alongside the very actors I was inspired by to begin with

So I knew something was working

I started to play again

My way

And it began making sense

Why would I limit my knowledge and skillset to my own past and experience…

When I could stand on giants’ shoulders?

When I could rely instead on their decades of accumulated skill and experience?

Bingo.

Four years after making that decision to seek guidance from the best I could find

I was working back to back

Flying between California, New Zealand, and Australia

From Netflix, to BBC, to Sundance, to Venice

And then…

Covid struck

And, like many people

I had time to think

Time to sit still and question what I was doing and why I was doing it

And I became very clear about one thing

The lessons that those incredible mentors and coaches passed on to me

I wanted to pass them on to others

The things I hadn’t got from any acting book or drama school

Especially in regards to one aspect

I had never found a systematic approach to managing ones career

So

(And this has only taken me four years)

I finally have a little baby I’m wanting to share with others

A career course

The Actor’s Blueprint Career Course

A systematic approach to building your career… your way.

To be honest

I have made this for me

For the version of me who felt like there was no way to continue on this career path

This is everything that helped me go from sleeping on a wet mattress, miserable, hating acting and resentful of the industry

To being nominated alongside my heroes two years later after finally being able to leave set feeling fulfilled

In the most honest, clear and actionable way I can possibly pass it on.

I realised there was an infinitely better way to excel in acting

And now

That’s what I want to pass on to you

I truly, truly hope this helps…

Career Course: https://www.actorsblueprint.com/course

This is a one-of-a-kind online series providing a systematic approach to help build your career, your way.

• Introduction: Welcome to The Actor’s Blueprint Career Course. A systematic approach to help you build your career, your way.

• The System: A system for sustainably building your career, your way.

• The Principles: Four essential principles for a sustainable career. 

• Chapter 1 - Secret Sauce: What is the most important factor that will help you contribute generous, meaningful and unique work to this industry?

• Chapter 2 - Harbour: Get clear about what you honestly want to begin making progress towards.

• Chapter 3 - Behaviour: The majority of actors allow their behaviour to be dictated by the industry. Don’t. Go first. The whole industry is waiting for you to go first.

• Chapter 4 - Pressure: At some point, your value will be determined by how well you’re able to give your work under pressure. So find comfort in the chaos whilst giving your best when it counts most. 

• Chapter 5 - Waiting: The majority of an acting career is waiting. So, can you wait well in an uncertain industry?

• Chapter 6 - Skills: Everything in your career will become easier if you prioritise skill development. 

• Chapter 7 - Practice: Practice in a way which actually results in progress.

• Chapter 8 - Opportunities: Place your head on the pillow knowing you gave everything you wanted.

• Chapter 9 - Game Plan: Do what you need to do, to get where you need to get, so you can give what you need to give.

• Chapter 10 - Game Day: Play your best when it counts most. 

• Bonus - Agents: Musings on agents.

• Conclusion: Finding joy in the effort.

x

Go to: https://www.actorsblueprint.com/course

At What Cost?

QUESTION:

Hey Mike! Hope you’re doing well. Question for your newsletter. I am currently shooting a series and am immensely self-conscious between action and cut. Usually, I find freedom, a sense of play, and a willingness to fail in that magic space. My last job was utterly freeing, and the director championed putting it all out there; however, this current job has been different. The director wants EXACT choices I made in the wide up close, no improv, no dialogue changes, and every offer is restrained. Script supervisor is ruthless to the point of "You exhaled your cigarette on that word and touched your left eye on this one", and the dialect coach is in the ear, "nope watch the upward inflection". Basically, everything between action and cut has become technical, and I am leaving scenes noticing that I am now acting for myself to hit these markers and utterly absent from my scene partner. Although I am fine with the technicalities of this medium, e.g. you won't always be in the moment, camera awareness is crucial, and sometimes you gotta bullshit to catch the light, but this has gone far beyond general screen awareness. Any tips to get out of my head and work within the constraints? Much love, Simba (name changed from privacy sake) x

ANSWER:

Simba

Holy smokes

What a scenario!

Thank you for this beautifully detailed question.

This sounds…

Honestly?

This sounds freaking exhausting.

Firstly

Let’s zoom out

This is one acting job

In your long career

So the fact that you are feeling “Immensely self-conscious between action and cut”

Let’s tack onto the end of that sentence

“And that’s okay”

It sure as hell sounds like it feels bloody frustrating & uncomfortable

But…

(And apologies if this comes across as naff but I genuinely believe this)

To be dealing with this complex challenge early in your career

This sounds like a wonderful problem to be working on for now

One which I know will pay dividends in the future

Okay

“Usually, I find freedom, a sense of play, and a willingness to fail in that magic space”

Simba

I am whole-heartedly going to agree with you on this

I am lucky enough to know your work

And what’s more

I have been lucky enough to see your work behind the curtain

You sir, play freely with a bloody incredible willingness to fail.

So when you use the term “magic space”

I believe you.

Now

When it comes to doing exactly what is asked of you

Sure

With your training and skillset

I think you know, as well as I do, that you are more than capable of doing everything that is being “asked” of you

However

The pivotal question is…

At what cost?

People might look at you from the outside and think

“You’re just lucky to have a job when so many others don’t”

Or

“Stop being difficult and get on with it”

Or

“Who cares!? Just do exactly what’s asked of you for a couple more months and then go do whatever you want”

But

No one…

I really mean this

Not a single person on this earth

Will ever fully understand what it costs you to not give your work your way

For you to sacrifice that “magic space”.

Story time

A dear friend of mine

Landed the understudy role of the protagonist in a huge hit musical straight after graduating from drama school

Now

Musicals

(You can see where this is going)

We are talking about a style which involves hundreds of lighting positions, sound cues, and movements which require extreme precision

All of which are to be repeated

Night, after night, after night

Basically

There is not a huge amount of room for creative freedom in the moment

However

To make matters more difficult

The director was obsessed with making this actor do exactly what the lead of the show has been doing

“Johnny says that line like this…”

“Johnny smiles on this word, not that word”

“Johnny says that quieter”

This carried on for a few weeks

My dear friend was feeling controlled, used, manipulated, pushed & pulled.

From the outside

It looked like a dream opportunity

A fresh graduate

First job

Guaranteed at least 2 shows a week understudying one of the worlds leading musical actors in one of the greatest musical hits of the passed few decades

But people didn’t know what is was costing him

To not have any sense of creative input

No sense of autonomy

His art - his magic space - The thing he had just spent 3 years giving his blood, sweat and tears to

Became

“Hit your mark, hit the note and do it like Johnny did it”

Until, one day, it simply cost him too much

After yet another comment of

“Johnny wouldn’t do it like that”

My friend just snapped

“I’M NOT JOHHNY!!!”

The room went quiet

You see

For my friend

It wasn’t worth it

To be paid as an actor to work on a great professional job

The result was not worth the process

The result wasn’t worth sacrificing his magic space

In fact

Most generous artists I know

Gun to the head

Would prefer a miserable result which comes from an invigorating process

Over a stunning result which comes from a miserable process

Why?

The process is more valuable than the result

It’s the process which will continue to provide food on the table over the long run

It’s the process which will provide sustainable work over ones career

It’s the process which will help them put their head on the pillow feeling fulfilled night after night

Not a one single glorious result which the artist had no real creative input towards

Now

Obviously

I’m not suggesting you snap back and shout for your right to give your work your way

Not at all

My friend was young and new to the industry

But what I am floating the idea of here is

Permission to start the conversation with your colleagues

Healthy artistic change on the job starts with someone going first

It starts with someone putting their hand up and being honest

Simba

If I was directing you

And wanting you do do everything that myself and the team was asking

And I saw you take a slow, kind breath

Look me in the eyes and say

“Mike, can we chat? Just struggling a bit at the moment, mate”

I would lean in

I promise you

I would lean in

What’s more

Is that you dropping your guard

Would encourage me to drop mine

Why is this important?

Well

For a director to enforce such strong levels of control

Something tells me its probably coming from a fair bit of fear

Something tells me that person is feeling a lot of pressure to provide a pristine result within a short amount of time

And if a conversation begins

Then the understanding of each others position begins

And people can begin to move forward with a sense of compassion

And possibly even with a sense of wiggle room

For example

What happened to my friend?

Well

The following break

He was approached by the director

And they had a conversation

About where things were at

And how they could move things forward together

It was clear to the director that my friend was miserable

It was clearly costing him too much to just be a puppet and to not have any sense of autonomy

But what surprised my friend

Was that he began to understand the situation the director was in too

The immense pressure the director was under from the team in America

For the show to be exactly the same regardless of which actor was stepping into the understudy position

The two even laughed about the similarities of what they were both experiencing

And from that place of acknowledgement & acceptance

Oddly

They began to play

The play might not have been the size at which my friend was use to

Or as overtly as they might have liked

But within the structures that were required for that specific job to happen

They zoomed in to find the tiny crevices in which they could do it their way

The moment before they stepped onto stage as they warmed up behind the curtain

The wiggling of the toes hidden by their shoe

The choice to wave with their right hand rather than their left

The secret their character was hiding behind that specific line of dialogue

Whats my point?

Control of other creatives

Usually stems from a place of fear

And just like me

Creatives get real scared

Scared of losing their pay check

Scared of their work not being enough

Scared of where or when the next job might happen

But at the same time

No one knows ever fully knows what their fear & control is costing you

So permission to speak up

Permission to express when you’re struggling with the work

And permission to zoom in to find the smaller space for you to play

The moment before your take

The pause that’s half a second longer…

There is always something

No matter how small

That is within your control

My advice?

Have have fun finding it.

Hope this helps

X

Extreme Emotions

QUESTION:

Hey Mike,

For those rare moments where you do need to express extreme emotion, let's say grief for example, what are some practical tools we can use to get there?

Say I'm on set, I've got a huge scene coming up (either in the next hour or the next week, if there are different tools for each scenario), and I'm starting to feel terrified I'm going to completely shut down and become the woodiest block of dissociated wood ever seen on screen.

Any tips and tools you could share to get there would be amazing. Until then I'll be focusing on the fundamentals - breathing as myself in front of the lens.

Much Love xx

Regards,

J-Dawg

ANSWER:

J-Dawg!

What a question

Man

Yeah

UGH

I harp on so much about breathing and doing the absolute basics well before moving on

But at some point

If you have that one self tape

Or that scene being filmed next Tuesday

And the story simply requires you to go all the way with an emotional release

And the director or casting director walks up and says

“YO… I need you to go all the way”

Of course we can hide behind a sense of purity in the work

And say things like:

“My character wouldn’t do that”

Or

“Im giving myself permission to be where im at and I’m simply wooden today, and that means my character is wooden, numb, frozen and lets all accept that”

Yeah

HA

Lets get something straight

There are writers out there who have spent several years writing that one script

They have spent actual days deciding whether to use full stop or comma

And sometimes

We gotta do our damn job

Which is…

Bring what the writer has given us to life

Especially if the director has an editors’ eye and will be thinking about the music of the script whilst filming

They might simply need a very practical point so they can build the cut

Which leads us the the painfully honest admission…

Gulp

Can you?

Are you technically able to release on cue?

Many, many times…

I have told myself

“I will go all the way when I actually need to”

Or

“I’ll be able to do it when’s it’s really necessary”

And then

When received the opportunity to actually do so

Literally nothing has happened

Just sat in front of the lens

Like a wooden block

And felt the room whisper

“Oh no, is that it?”

I spent many opportunities deluding myself into believing that I would be able to release when the situation calls for it

And then getting smacked back into reality when I wasn’t able to

And on the flip side

I have also had opportunities in rehearsal room where I have been extremely happy with the work that flowed out

But then not able to do so consistently in the days or weeks after

Story time

I have a friend

And that friend was being directed by one of my absolute favourite actors of the past century

Regarded as one of the purest artists in the biz

An Oscar winner who consistently gave incredible performances both on stage and screen

Someone who all the greats looked up to

My friend was having a real difficult time getting to a place of release with a monologue in this theatre show

And finally

In one of the previews just before opening

He got there!

He released in a way where he felt like he finally served the writing

A magical moment to have on stage

And the next day

He proudly walked to the notes session

Where he was excited about receiving feedback from this director

“Brilliant”

“Just marvellous”

“You took my breath away”

He expected the director to say

You know what he got instead?

“Good work…

It’s never allowed to be less than that from now on”

Yikes

Another story

I was prepping to play one of Shakespeare’s protagonists for a show at the Sydney Opera House

And I had dinner with a director who helped build the careers of many of the UK giants from the RSC

I was hoping he would give me some magic pill advice

His advice?

“Michael… Remember… God doesn’t descend very often”

His meaning?

There is a practical reality to leading a theatre show with 113 performances

Or leading a film and having to rock up every day for 6 weeks straight

Technique becomes necessary

Want to to sustainably give generous work?

Show after show?

Day after day on set?

Craft

Yup

No magic here

Craft.

There is a very simple reality to skills here

As well as a culture of artists hiding that work behind the curtain

Which makes sense

It’s a profession which aims to help make an audience believe

“Suspend your disbelief”

As Shakespeare put it

And if every heartbreaking performance is combined with interviews from that actor giving specific details about how they were able to do that scene

It removes the sense of magic

It steals the work from the audience

Damn sure I do NOT want to watch There Will Be Blood knowing exactly what Daniel Day Lewis was technically doing

I’m damn fascinated by it, of course

But please don’t ruin my magical experience.

Saying that

As an actor

I want to know how to get better

And “oh, I just acted, hehe” doesn’t help me do that

So

Skills

The physical reality of skills

Let’s go back to the body here…

Honest question:

If your body doesn’t know what it’s like to drop it’s guard in practice

Then why would you expect it to do so when you’re on set and there’s fifty people staring at you?

Or when you’re in the casting room and there are three producers in suits a few metres from your face

And one of them gets up half way through your scene to go look at a painting on a wall (true story)

Yeah

To hope that that will be the day where you magically give glorious free flowing work

Despite having no real proof that you can go there

Doesn’t sound like a bet worth making does it?

And yet

So many of us do it

When the moment calls for it - I will magically rise to the occasion!

Nope

You will fall to the level of your training

Alright

You get my point

Develop skills to build confidence that you’ll be able to release on cue under pressure

Which leads us to the next question

How?

The brain won’t argue with the physical experience

Easier to have confidence in your skills when you have some actual proof

So let’s go get some proof, J-Dawg!

Let’s go teach the body its okay to go there :)

This is where the world is your oyster, mate

There are many different schools of thought when it comes to training the ability to release on cue

I’m literally tapping my foot against a box full of books as I type this

Some of them preaching there is only one way…And it’s their way!

(Picture me rolling my eyes right now)

I want to preface this with one principle

What works for you, for now

The goal is free flowing self expression

Not: there is a right way to do acting

Also

As we commence this discussion around techniques for emotional release

Please be careful

I have honestly been gutted at scenarios where someone is asked to drudge up childhood woes in their very first acting class

And then left to walk outside afterwards, physically shaking, with no sense of guidance or help after

The best coaches in the biz

Don’t have time for you to romanticise suffering

And if the work ain’t fun - Then that becomes the work (Making it fun again)

Okay

Back to general schools of thought

Just to name a few

(These are very broad brush strokes here)

As if - using your imagination to conjure up a fictional situation.

Emotional recall - Using past experiences and attaching them to specific dialogue or relationships in the script.

Physical - Using the body to encourage emotional flow via the use of different physical postures or movements (such as tremor therapy, or exercising to the point of exhaustion).

Breath - Breathing at different rates or from different areas in the body to induce different emotional states (such as the chest to encourage a state of panic or anxiety, or lower diaphragm to encourage a state of grief).

Dream work - The use of the subconscious to stretch oneself in the direction of their shadow & light.

Repetition - Simply taking that key piece of dialogue and repeating it hundreds, if not thousands of times.

The no acting approach - just saying that dialogue to that person you’re speaking to (highly dependant on the script, director, fellow actor & situation)

Obviously, as a 34 year old with a young daughter who now significantly influences my timezone

I have zero time for anything that’s unsustainable

Anything that messes with sleep, relationships, or tomorrows work is a no go for me right now

The best I know have deep handle over their craft

And if “god doesn’t descend very often”

Then I absolutely want to move in that direction

I want to be able to be on set and help my daughter with her homework

And then two minutes later step in front of the lens and give work I’m proud of

Not need three hours of solo time with headphones to give a take which is so out of alignment with the directors vision

Or not be able to take notes because I’m so in my own zone

And not need another 12 minutes to prep for a second take

Okay

Back to those schools of thought

What will be the ONE for you!?

Jokes

Go play!

Try stuff!

Fall on your face!

The more you experiment with

The more you can build your awareness

And the more awareness you develop

The more choice you will have in deciding what works for you & for now

I really cannot emphasise those last two words enough

For now

Permission to change as you grow.

The last film I did

There were a few scenes in particular where I believed that in order to serve the story best

I needed to hit particular moments

And what helped me most?

In one

It was late, I was exhausted, and I relied purely on physical movements to get me through

In another scene

I said a line of dialogue with zero acting. I said that exact line to that actor because I believed it was completely appropriate to the situation.

And in another

I spoke to a colleague as if they were a person I love deeply in my life and am terrified of losing

See?

Just a mish mash of shit

Messy

Grey

I think this is what I’m trying to say

There is no one way

You try things

You throw away what doesn’t work for you

You keep the stuff that does

And you keep building as you go

One thing is for sure

Do the thing

Get in the room

And do the thing

So you can walk on set

With your body knowing it is safe

Safe to release whatever work you’ve done

Safe to be a human being with other human beings

Safe to have moments of human connection

Hope this helps

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