Career Architecture

A systematic approach to building your career, your way…

One: Secret Sauce

Get clear about what is the most generous thing you can contribute to the audience, separating you from the rest.

Two: Harbour

Clarify what you honestly want to begin working towards.

Three: Choices

Get clear about the behaviour, sacrifices, actions, habits, rituals, hard conversations & decisions you will have to make in order to allow what you honestly want to come to you. Choose which are most important.

Four: Relationships

Agents, managers, coaches & colleagues. Who are the people you are building your career with? How do you create & take care of those connections so you end up with energising, fulfilling and sustainable relationships?

Five: Pressure

Confidence will come from developing physical skills under pressure. Create a process for finding comfort in the chaos.

Six: Waiting

Can you wait well in an uncertain industry? The majority of acting is waiting (for the next audition, job, scene, take, etc). Are you living the way you want regardless of external factors taking time?

Seven: Practice

Are you practicing in a way which allows you to actually get better at the skillset you need in order to move you forward? Clarify, plan, execute, debrief.

Eight: Opportunities

Are you getting access to the opportunities you actually want? What do you need to change in order to increase those opportunities?

Nine: Game Plan

You go the job. Great! Now what? Are you doing what you need to do, in order to get where you need to get, so you can give what you need to give? Prepare in a way which allows you to give your best, on command, from the first day to the last.

Ten: Game Day

Are you leaving work and placing your head on the pillow feeling filled, knowing you gave what you wanted to give? Create a clear & honest plan which allows you to give your all when it counts most.

Done.

Hope this helps

X

Rejection

I’m driving home

It’s evening

The sky is orange and quiet

I pass over the lagoon

The coots are snickering amongst themselves

It’s cold

I want to get in the water

Chase them like I did as a kid

My father once told me

If I pour salt on a Guineafowls’ tail

It will become immobilised

Then I can pick it up and pat it

Thus

Many family holidays were spent with a salt shaker in hand

Running after confused birds in the Drakensberg mountains of KwaZulu-Natal

KwaZulu

Zulu

Meaning “Sky / heaven”

I ran in heaven

With a salt shaker…

My phone rings

Breaking me out of one of my many day dreams

I see the caller

“Nixxx”

My agent

My heart flutters

I know what this is about

I take a breath

Press the button and say

“Hi Nixxxie”

(Her name has recently changed from “Nixxx” to “Nixxxie” since becoming a grandmother)

I hear her voice for the first time this week

“Hello”

Oh god

There it is

Her tone

I know

My body knows immediately

It hasn’t gone my way

I take another breath

Remind my body to give up any tension

Let go buddy

We begin talking about everything other than what is actually happening

The weather

How my fiancé’s bun in the oven is cooking

Do we have everything ready in the nursery

Etc

Then it comes

Nixie takes a breath

“Mike, I really thought it was going to be a yes on this one, I’m so sorry, it didn’t go your way”

“I know Nix, I know…”

I reply

She can hear my disappointment

It’s been a while since I really wanted an acting gig

She tries to cheer me up

“I cannot, for the life of me, find fault in your tape

The work is all there, the team loves you

There’s just obviously other factors”

I smile

I appreciate her warm tone and the care she is giving me in this moment

“Thanks Nix”

Then there is silence

We sit in it

She’s good at letting me take my time

I feel the urge to put on a happy tone

No

Give up buddy

“This one hurts Nixxxie”

She leans in with me

There’s no false happy pep talk

There’s no trying to pretend it doesn’t suck

We let it hurt

Ten minutes later

I say “thank you for listening”

We give our love

And say our goodbyes

And I keep driving

I go quiet

Breathe

Breathe

A year of great screen work just vanished in front of me

Breathe

I feel stupid

I let myself get excited about this one

Damnit!

I shouldn’t have done that!

The shoulds begin

What’s my partner going to think?

Is she going to be upset? Sad for me?

I don’t want to bring her down

What are my parents going to think?

Other people’s voices are coming in hot

The head noise is swirling now

Bring it back to the body

Breathe

Breathe

This is where I am at

Accept it mike

Mmm

I don’t want to accept it

Now I’m getting angry

Fuck them

Their loss

Yep

Really protecting myself now

God my body is good at trying to take care of me

But I’m noticing it

I know this place

I entered the professional industry at 16

I have 18 years of experience here

It’s okay buddy

Slow and kind

You know the way

Go be honest

I feel the urge to drive faster

So I deliberately take my foot off the accelerator

I slow down

But its hard

I don’t want to surrender

It’s scary to surrender

I pull up in front of the house

“Always” by Blink182 finishes playing

God

Life is grey (the opposite of black and white)

I sit in the car

Not sure what to do

I get a text

“Look out the window”

My fiancé is pressed up against the glass of our big lounge room window

Smiling

I can see my first son or daughter cocooned in her belly

Ugh

She is so happy to have me home

I want to hide

I don’t want to tell her

I know how she’ll respond

She’ll go slow

She’ll be kind

She’ll hold me

I don’t want her to have to do that

Not again

Not again

I just want to come home with a win

Honey

I got it

I got the job

I’m taking you and JT out to dinner tonight

$100 steaks are on me!

JT is code name for Jelly Tot

The nickname of our unborn child

I look at her smiling in the window

She begins wagging

Almost like a husky when it’s beyond excited

Mike

Just go be honest

I smile back

Go surrender

I tell myself

She greets me at the door

I wrap her up

“Can we do shnugs?”

I ask

There is no hesitation

Straight to bed we go

We wrap ourselves up together in a big puffy doona

Like two cosie eskimos

All goes still

The house is quiet after a long day

She whispers

“Jt has been kicking sooo much today”

“Has he really”

I say, as I place my hand on him

Or her

(But we are 90% sure it’s a boy)

I feel him

It’s like he has moments where we does somersaults non stop

I’m reminded of the chaos coming

I smile

I breathe in my family

I open my eyes

I look at her

She knows something is up

With trepidation

I say

“I just got the call”

She looks confused for a second

Then immediately realises what I’m referring to

No hesitation

She swallows me up

And holds me

We lie together

In silence

While I breathe

Deep and slow

Eventually

She asks

“What do you need right now?”

I look at her

And I suddenly feel clear

I use to fight these moments

Hard

Try show the world that I’m okay

Try show the industry that I’m not upset

That I’m a good actor who keeps going

But after almost 2 decades of practice

I know what’s best for me right now

I smile at her

And step off the ledge

“I just need to let myself be upset

To let it hurt

To know that that’s okay”

...

Hope this helps

X

Cheap Effective Practice

In 2016

I started the year off with a bang

I was onstage at the Sydney Opera House

Working for Australia’s premier theatre company

Working on a play I adored (Arcadia)

By one of my favourite writers (Stoppard)

And playing a character I loved (Valentine)

The cast was insanely talented

The director was one of those directors that theatre actors both feared and dreamed of working with

And I had an incredible coach supporting me the whole time

It was a gorgeous period of my life

I needed it

My previous theatre experience had been marred

And I deeply wanted to turn the ship around on this one

So when opening night came

And I gave the work I wanted to

Plus was kind to myself when I slipped up

Plus had fun with great actors

Man

I put my head on the pillow and fell asleep pretty damn easily

But as wonderful as it all was…

I had an itch

It was small at first

But after about 45 shows

I remember really wanting to scratch it

The itch was screen acting

At that time

I had spent over a decade working on theatre

And there was a seed underneath my skin desperate to grow

So when the next theatre audition came through

I decided to listen to my body and say “no” in order to create space for a “yes”

First things first

I was pretty clear about the direction I wanted to head

I simply looked at all the scenes, actors, films that inspired me

What was the most important common denominator?

They all gave honest conversations on screen

That’s what I wanted to give

But how?

I felt there was a massive valley in between my current skill level and where I wanted to be

So the time came

Where I realised

The most important thing I could do

In order to increase my skill level on screen

Was reps

Reps reps reps

Cold hard time in front of the lens

Okay

How can I get reps?

A huge reason why acting is still important to this day

Is because we represent one of the key ingredients that allowed us to survive the last 200 000 years

Connection

Human connection

Therefore

We need others to practice

We need to sit opposite someone else and have a human connection with them in front of the lens

Now, at that time

I allocated a little bit of my piggy bank for training each month

But that was one night a week

And based off the books I was reading at the time

I knew that for actual skill development

I would benefit exponentially from 2-3 shorter sessions per week

Rather than one intense weekend workshop

Okay

2-3 shorter practice sessions per week

So, find somebody and practice

But who?

And where?

And for how long?

And do what, specifically?

This created a jam for me

The years after graduating NIDA

I can remember practicing or filming self tapes was a miserable affair

Often spending long hours doing take after take

Just slogging it out trying to make each line perfect

Repeating takes because I made one duff up

Or the practice time would be continually interrupted by phones

Or the other person would spend hours complaining about things outside of their control (the industry)

Or the lighting setup was terrible

Or my technical computer skills would mean everything electronic I touched instantaneously fell apart

Exhausting and frustrating

Simply de-energising

My experience practicing had been tainted

I wanted to be a bit smarter this time

So I tried something different

Energising Practice (30/45/45)

One

Find someone you feel energised around

Someone who’s curious, kind, honest, dedicated, respectful, open etc

Whatever floats your boat

Someone you resonate with

Someone your body says “hell yes” to.

Someone you feel excited about showing up to play with.

(If they ain’t energising, it ain’t gonna be sustainable)

Two

Book the time, place & setup

Wednesday at 14:00-16:00 at mine

A clear time

A clear place (where you can do deep work for 2 hours without getting distracted)

A clear step - good lighting/camera

Three

Show up

Phones on aeroplane mode

Put the timer on

30 minutes

Then check in

Include coffee and shnacks :)

Have a chat about what you both want out of your 45

How would you like to feel after practice?

What will you focus on to help you get three?

What’s the most important thing you would like to work on in the next 45?

And what the process that will help you improve it?

Four

Deep work

Each actor then gets 45 minutes

And which ever actor goes first

The other actor is there to wholeheartedly support and serve the actor on screen

Five

The debrief

In the last few minutes of your 45

Identify two things

Best Thing: What was the best thing about your practice? What did you feel good about, what worked? What do you think you did well?

(I don’t care how much you want to say “it all sucked and I’m terrible at acting”… try be objective and find something worth celebrating)

Ready For: What are you ready to work on next?

Where is the 1% improvement you are ready to work on next?

That’s it.

Doneskies!

30/45/45

Energising practice

Remember

If you can make things like practice, self taping, learning lines, etc

(The boring bits)

If you can make them energising

Addictive

Fun

You’ll want to keep going

And if you keep showing up

And keep making 1% improvement

Week after week

Month after month

Year after year

You’ll be bloody dangerous as an actor

Hope this helps

X

What Actually Works

“Pros do less, better”

In an ocean of techniques

There are a small handful 

Which will work for the majority of people

& in the majority of circumstances

So if you only have so much time and energy 

Only so much attention to give to your craft

Those few things are really worth focussing on

Of course

We want to maintain interest, follow curiosities and expand our boundaries of what we think is possible

But at the end of the day

The same old basics are what’s going to be left when working under pressure

So in that call back

Or on that big budget set

When nerves start kicking in

We want to have a strong foundation of things we can rely on

Which actually work

So we can keep playing and giving the work we want to 

On demand

Over and over again.

So which few things are actually worth focussing on?

Which few things are most worth getting better at?

I was at the whiteboard the other day

With a class of NIDA students 

We wrote as many different things on the board as we could think of

In terms of where we could allocate our time and energy in prepping for a scene

We let rip

Threw it all out there

Everything from Michael Chekov’s psychological gesture

To animal work

To Meisner’s repetition 

To objectives & obstacles 

Slowly we made our way through the hundreds of possibilities

Distilling what is almost always going to be there when we need it under pressure

You know what was left?

Breathing

Moving (getting out of the head & into the body before a take)

Giving the camera access to your eyes 

Learning lines

Yup 

That was it

Hundreds of options

But only a teeny weeny few that you can almost always rely on when acting on screen

Take a moment to imagine…

If you employed Pareto’s principle

And spent 80% of your practice time on:

Breathing as yourself in front of the lens

Moving out of your head and into your body before every take

Giving the camera access to your eyes

And finding a joyful process for learning lines

And then multiplied that over time

6 weeks… 6 months… A year…

What the results would be?

Yup

Exponential growth 

It almost sounds deceptive doesn’t it

Too easy

Too boring

Too weird and out there

But I beg to differ

If you are someone who does what everyone else is doing and expects a different result

Then this might be for you 

Over the next few weeks I am going to dive into these fundamentals 

(Including a story about Mel Gibson teaching me how not to be a bad actor)

And explain why investing your time & energy into these delicious “boring basics”

Might be the best use of energy you give to your craft this year

Regardless of your skill level 

Hope this helps 

X 

Don’t Count Yourself Out

I know an actress

For privacy’s sake

Let’s call her Grace

Grace works hard

She’s kind to people

And she keeps going

Last week

Grace was cast in one of the biggest shows to be made in recent history

Writing, budget, cast, role, producers, director, etc

Grace just caught a very big fish

A fish that most other actors dream about catching

This was a personal triumph for Grace

She is elated about the upcoming process

But there’s a bit more to this story

Because on the face of it

It would seem that committing to the audition (self tape) several weeks ago

Grace was facing an daunting task

One that others might have deem as delusional

You see

Over the last few years

Grace has given about 60 self tapes

And she hasn’t gotten a single one

So, on the surface

It would seem the industry has it in for Grace

60 auditions

No results to show

This leads us to an important lesson

The results alone never tell the whole story

Roughly speaking

Other artists, the industry, the public

They only remember the results

Who got the role ?

Who do we see on the screen, billboard, gram etc ?

By that logic

Grace didn’t stand a chance

She was 0-60

However

Let’s look a bit closer

Out of those 60 self tapes, Grace had 7 call backs

Out of those 7 call backs, Grace had been put “on hold” for 3

Out of those 3 jobs, Grace adored two of the roles and really hoped to get them

One of those roles was for a job which turned out to be one of the biggest grossing films of 2019

The other was a role opposite one of Grace’s acting heroes

So

Grace had been close to landing great work before

But that’s not all

Two out of the big six casting directors in Australia adored Grace

They believed she consistently gave generous, authentic work

They found her to be passionate, respectable, on time and kind

On top of this

Despite the lack of results

Her agent kept putting her up for auditions

Her agent, who has been in the industry for over 30 years

Believed that if Grace just kept going and kept giving

Something would transpire

Adding to this

Grace caught the attention of two producers who championed her and got her in for multiple auditions

In those cases

There simply wasn’t a great match with the writing and other actresses landed those jobs

Furthermore

Grace heads to class once a week with a teacher who takes care of two other professional actresses whom Grace admires

The teacher and Grace would sit and debrief her tapes privately to find out what she was doing really well

And where (specifically and tangibly) she could make one percent improvement each week

Grace also had a few student short films under her belt which she used to make a little showreel

And when showing it to trusted colleagues in the biz

They replied “this is beautiful work, you must keep giving your work to this world”

Again

The results don’t always tell the whole story

The work ethic, the colleagues, the mentors, the practice, the progression of craft

This tells a very different story as opposed to the 0-60

Curious

Which story are you choosing to give your attention to?

What’s my point...

Don’t count yourself out based on past results alone

Often the truth is more nuanced than a simple “I didn’t get the role”

Try (as hard as it can sometimes feel) to zoom out

And make your assessment on the whole picture

Because

Often times

Despite what others (who are not in the arena) are gobbling on about

You’ll see you’ve got a better chance than many believe

Hope this helps

X

Take Your Time

Sometimes

I get pretty damn scared when I don’t have acting work 

Familiar thoughts tend to raise their head again 

Will I ever work again?

Does anybody want me?

Am I actually good at this thing I’ve been working so hard at?

Have people worked out that I’m a complete fraud?

Can everybody else see that I don’t have any idea what I’m doing?

Am I going to wake up after dedicating decades of my life to something and realise that it was all a waste of time?

Wow

Give it an inch

And my imagination will take a mile!

Okay

Let’s not give my imagination permission to run away here

Curious 

If I zoom out in this moment

And look at those sentences

I notice something

In the decades I’ve spent researching, reading and listening

I know

That I’m not alone

I know

Not only do my friends and colleagues share similar thoughts and feelings

But my heroes do too!

I remember a time

Back in the drama school days

When Al Pacino came to have a chat to us wee graduates

One of my best friends 

(Who was an insane Al Pacino fan)

Asked him 

“There was a time 

After you had done your first few films

When you didn’t work for two years

If you could go back now

What advice would you offer to that young version of yourself during that down time?”

Al Pacino took a long look at my friend

Breathed deep

Smiled 

And said

“I would rest my hand on his shoulder and say:

It’s okay,

You will get laid”

I love this

And I think Al is talking about one of the most important fundamentals someone can develop in their work

Let me explain 

I have been incredibly lucky to be on set with some extraordinary actors

Dicaprio, Mcguire, Green, Mulligan, Egerton, Gibson, Garfield bla bla bla  (name dropsss)

And there is something I have noticed in all of them

They do it slower

What do I mean by slower?

They take their time

They are willing to allow more time for themselves to achieve things they desire deeply

Not only have I noticed this across top actors

But it’s there all across the performance world too

Look at anyone who is at the top of their field

They give better work by going slower

Tennis for example 

The difference between good professional players and the stand-out champions of the game?

It's proven that champions take just a little bit more time to fully recover between points

They ask for the towel to rub down, even if not strictly necessary, or take a few seconds extra on ball selection

This energy management or reset allows them to maintain performance in a longer match and leads to a method for deep recovery between points

Point is… the best take longer to do things they deem important 

Athletes, CEO’s, Artists…

They slow down their work in order to give more

(Even if just by a small percentage)

As I’m typing this I just noticed the amazon delivery guy in my street

He has thrown something in a mail box, rushed out of the street, only to return two minutes later to another mail box a few houses down

Literally three times!

If he was to slow down

Take 10 seconds to look at the black swan floating in the lagoon 

Take 7 seconds to smell the lingering scent of fresh fallen rain

Take 20 seconds to look at his next few deliveries

He could go for a slow walk, make 3 deliveries in 4 minutes and give himself an extra ten to get to his next suburb 

But what about time?

Time waits for no one!

Only so many hours in the day right!?

Push push push

Rush rush rush

Must achieve this goal but that time otherwise I’m a failure!

Yup

Fear causes me to rush

To push

To use force

This equals tension

And tension equals shoulding

So I end up doing what I “should” do

Saying what I “should” say

Typing what I “should” type

But what I know

Is that I, Michael

Like every other individual on this earth

Have my very own timezone

A timezone that is completely unique to me

It’s Michael Sheasby’s time zone

My body knows how to breathe, how to walk, how to move at it’s own harmonious pace

A pace that happens when I’m not shoulding out of fear

When I’m not trying to please others

When I’m not trying to achieve things by a certain time or a particular age 

Mmm 

So

How can I make this more doable?

More practical?

Here’s some ideas

When noticing you’re walking at a pace which is not yours

When rushing in traffic

When rushing across the pedestrian crossing

When ordering coffee

When standing up in acting class to do your scene

When in between takes on set during your close up

When in between takes in the casting room

When giving yourself a deadline to achieve a particular goal by a particular time

When having a difficult conversation...

Stop

Take a breath

Bring it back to your own timezone

Listen to your body

Let it lead

The body knows 

Millions of years of evolution, right there, ready to take care of you

What’s my point?

Take your time

Give yourself permission to be in your timezone 

Hope this helps

X 

The Best Advice

I’m taking care of the NIDA grads over the next 3 months

So my brain is once again shifting from my own work to:

“how can I help these performers progress best?”

It is therefore important for me 

Being on the other side of the curtain 

To be clear about what’s most worth investing valuable time and resources in

So

Let’s get clear

What is the best advice I can give to an actor right now?

Focus on being the best

And everything else will take care of itself.

What do I mean?

There are many things in combination that can help build a sustainable career

Kindess

Agents

Social media 

Networking 

Etc

However…

Kindness alone won’t build a sustainable career for you

Agents alone won’t build a sustainable career for you

Social media and networking alone won’t build a sustainable career for you

At the end of the day

At some point 

On set or in the casting room

Everything will go quiet 

Everyone will stop what they are doing and look at you 

A camera will be pointed on your face

And Someone will say 

“Action”

If…

In this moment…

You are able to give your best work

Your most generous work 

The career will build itself

The work will come

The money will flow

Agents will beat down your door

Lovely relationships with great colleagues will develop 

Companies will fight for you to wear there clothes

Social media followers will frantically click buttons

You get the point

Acting skills

Your ability to actually act on cue

Your ability to give your most generous work in between “action” and “cut”

This is the thing worth focussing on most

It’s been said before: 

“Be so good they can’t ignore you” 

And I really do think we inherently know this

But it’s easy enough to just say “be really great at acting”

Much harder to turn this into an actionable process 

There are teachers all around the world

Classes running late into the night

Many decade-old acting books being combed through

All giving their two cents on how to get better

But how the hell do we know what to actually focus on?

Well

This is where individual choice comes in

Theatre?

Screen?

Improv?

Distinct characters?

Supporting roles?

Superheros? 

Simply put… 

What floats your boat?

What energises you beyond words?

What do you go to bed dreaming about?

What makes you forget to eat? Not need to sleep?

Who inspires you?

Who makes you insanely jealous?

What’s the kind of work that makes you go “HELL YES!”?

For me?

When helping other actors 

I have a heavy bias toward leading roles on screen 

So for today

Let’s go down that rabbit hole

Let’s just pretend that you want to get as good as you possibly can at playing leading roles on screen

Well

What skills does one need to get good at in order to give leading role calibre work?

There are three main areas one needs to become proficient at in order to give leading role level work

ONE: Darkness - Ownership of fear, your shadow, all parts of yourself that you judge as “bad” or “wrong”. Can you channel this and allow pure fear to flow out of you on demand?

TWO: Light - Ownership of love, vulnerability, all parts of yourself that requires you to surrender to the human standing opposite you. Can you channel this and allow pure love to flow out of you on demand?

So we have darkness and light

Light and darkness

The “boy and the beast”, so to speak

These are two out of the three main areas

A heavy amount of training steers in the direction of these two skills

Many a class have I sat in until the early hours of the morning (literally) 

Watching teachers push and pull actors into the extremities of these two areas 

But

Time to ask an important question

When watching lead roles on screen

In any film or show

How often do we see these two parts released?

Exactly

The majority of training focusses on pushing and pulling actors toward releasing darkness and light

Fear and love

Yet

These areas make up a small minority when it comes to professional work on screen

Interesting to note the majority of training is focussing on the minority of skill set actually required in ones career!

This leads us to our third area required for leading on screen

In order for actors to earn the audiences support when releasing darkness and light

They need to spend the majority of the job doing what I believe to be the most under-utilised area in training

THREE: Breathing as one’s self 

The vast majority of what you will be asked to do in terms of acting on screen

Will be breathing as yourself in front of the lens

This will make up 95% or more of your professional work

If you can do this well

You will be asked to release the other two main areas

But if you can’t breathe as yourself in front of the lens

Chance are you won’t be consistently asked to release the darkness and the light

So if breathing as yourself is so bloody important

Why do acting classes focus so heavily on the screaming and the crying?

Well

Because it’s more interesting

It makes people feel like they are progressing way more than breathing does

For a teacher to hold a students hand, ask them to close their eyes and drudge up all their childhood woes…

Yeah there’s gonna be some tears and people will applaud and everyone goes home feeling buzzed

But will the teacher be there to help the actor get to that same place tomorrow on set?

Nope

It’s a short term win

And as great as short term wins can feel

I’m most curious about the long term work

The boring stuff which no-one what’s to focus on

Persistence...

To rock up to class or practice 

Week after week

And focus on breathing as ones self on screen

That takes discipline

That’s boring as heck

So of course people aren’t going to do that

But back to what’s most valuable

The people who are on set

Getting paid to lead shows and films around the world

They are getting paid more than anyone because they can do the thing that so few can

Breathe as them-self 

So back to my initial question

What is the best advice I can give to an actor?

If you are wanting to give leading work on screen

Then focus on getting as good as you can at breathing as yourself in front of the lens

Do this

Invest in this

And everything else will take care of itself 

I really hope this helps 

X 

Time in the Saddle

Once upon a time

I was packing my bag

Ready to travel to India for a film

I was ecstatic 

It was the end of my first year out of drama school and I felt a real sense of momentum building

My bag was open on the floor with a few of the essentials already in it

I was simply waiting for that final phone call to confirm the last minute details before finishing packing

I got the opposite kind of call 

My agent rang with a gentle, slow and apologetic tone

“It didn’t come together I’m afraid”

I was devastated

One year out into the industry meant I still got very wobbly when it came to rejections

Probably something to do with the fact that I use to spend an enormous amount of time focussing on what decision the producers would make rather than focussing on what I could control - understandably!

Anywho

I was sad

So I packed up my fly fishing gear and some spare clothes and headed to the mountains

Eight hours later I was in a hostel room alone

Apparently no-one wants to go to the ski fields when there isn’t snow?

I got dressed into my waders, put on all the gear that made me look like I knew what I was doing when I actually didn’t

And stood in the snowmelt-temperature river trying to catch a trout

One thing I love about getting back into nature

Is that it doesn’t take much time for me to be coaxed back into the present 

I can remember seeing some kind of floating rodent pop up about 10 feet away from me

I grew up in Africa with very different wildlife

So when I saw my first wild Platypus I really didn’t know what to make of it

No fish, but one Platypus, still a big win

I decided to call it a day and head back to my empty hostel to eat alone

On my way home

There was a sign outside an equestrian centre

“Buck Brannaman Horsemanship Clinic - $50 to watch)

Huh?

Obviously I turned into the drive way 

And poked my head into the big barn

The next thing I knew

I was sitting on a fence for the next 3 days straight

Watching the world’s leading horse whisperer work with horses

This is the man the author of “The Horse Whisperer” used as inspiration for his novel

And who’s documentary (Buck) won Sundance back in 2010

It was one of the most wonderful few days of my life

And certainly one of the greatest craft experiences I have ever had

Everything Buck was talking about

I thought remarkably related to acting

I felt like I was home

I knew that horses cost a lot of money

And required a tonne of land, time, and effort

But I remember feeling like I had found one of the most meaningful things in my life

Still

To this day

I know

Deep down

Getting good at riding horses 

Is one of the most worthwhile things I could do with my time on this earth

(Stick with me here)

A year later

I was cast in my first series

I got the role of the antagonist for the first season of a new network show

Set in the 50’s

And guess what!?

This meant horses!

As each episode was sent to me in the mail

I would snatch it out of the mailman’s poor hands

Dive into bed 

And flick through to find when I would be required to showoff some horse skills

That page never came

Turns out I was the only character in the show to NOT ride a horse

I had a beat up old pickup truck instead (ugh… how many times I stalled that thing during takes) 

I was frustrated

But not phased

I looked up who the horse wrangler was

The extraordinary Graham Ware Jr. 

Four generations of horse wrangling for film & TV

The very man who worked with Viggo on Lord of The Rings

Yes!

I found his number and called him up

Everyone got horse riding lessons with him except me

But I was happy to fork out for my own private lessons

I just wanted to get better at this beautiful craft

Graham listened patiently and invited me to his farm

Off I went

Brand new RM’s ready to get muddy

The lessons began

I had ridden horses every Wednesday afternoon growing up as a kid thanks to my Mother’s patience & generosity

But a decade later… 

I had some tuning up to do

I was hungry & determined

Everything Graham mentioned

I soaked it up

More more more

Every instruction I would ask why and dissect it as deeply as I could

Until it felt simple enough in my mind that I could repeat it alone

But then something happened

After about the third session 

Graham went quiet 

I spent about half an hour riding in circle before I couldn’t hold back anymore and I burst out loud

“Anything I can do? Anything I can work on”

Again, I was desperate to improve at this meaningful craft I was extremely passionate about

Graham smiled

Took a breath 

And said

“Mate, at this point, there’s nothing else to talk about

You just need time in the saddle”

I sighed

I knew exactly what he meant

All my passion, drive, determination, excitement… I had wobbled off the path

I was more interested in feeling like I was getting better

Than actually doing the work required to get better

What’s my point?

There comes a time 

When thinking and feeling can slip over into replacing actions which result in actual progression

Sometimes

The most important thing I can do

Is just get some time in the saddle 

No more talking

No more thinking

Just ride

Get those reps in which can’t be replaced by anything else

Hope this helps

X 

Planking Under Pressure

Once upon a time

There was a boy called John

John grew up in a remote town at the edge of the world (in New Zealand)

John was a curious boy

He loved to play pretend

His favourite thing was to dress up with his friends and go on fantastic adventures

The deep jungles of the Congo

The misty mountain tops of the Himalayas 

Riding horses across the Mongolian Steppe 

John loved the stories, the relationships, the worlds he created with people he loved

John recognised that he wanted more of it

He dreamed of standing on stage and performing in the school play

Getting to play pretend with even more friends, costumes and sets

So much joy!

But when he auditioned for the play

Something happened

John had spent all week practicing his lines

And when his teacher asked him to stand on the stage to give his audition piece

John’s little body began to tremble

His throat went tight

His mouth became dry

His small tummy felt like it was turning inside out

John stepped up onto the big stage

He looked down at the sea of his classmates’ eyes 

And he forgot what to do

Everything went silent 

He tried to speak but he couldn’t remember a single line

He struggled to breathe

John hated what he was feeling

He wanted it to end

And when his classmates began to laugh and snicker

He turned and ran to the bathroom to hide

John was devastated 

He loved playing pretend

But when he got the opportunity to do it for the school play

He felt like he couldn’t anymore

John became quiet at school

He stopped joining in at recess with his friends

And when his best friend asked him to join in

He replied 

“Playing is stupid”

And came up with all kinds of excuses as to why he wouldn’t do it anymore

John was clearly hurt and trying to protect himself from feeling hurt again

Then

One day

A stuntman came to his school to put on a show

All the kids gathered to watch

John deliberately sat at the back of the crowd

Curious, but still in his shell

The stuntman began to perform incredible feats 

Death defying acts

The daredevil tumbled down stairs unscathed

Threw a boomerang and caught it

He even set his hand on fire without getting burned

Extraordinary!

Then

For the stunt mans’ final act

He placed a plank between two of the schools’ buildings

A staggering 3 meters high!

The stunt man took a big breath

The drumroll on the boombox played

And then he walked across the plank

Not once

Not twice

But three times!

John watched in sheer awe 

All the other kids screamed with applause 

“Bravo!” 

Then

The stuntman came down to where the children were standing with glee

And placed the plank on the ground

He asked all the children to walk across it one at a time

John was confused

He looked at the plank

Looked ahead

Took a few small & simple steps

And crossed the plank with ease

John was confused and looked up at the stuntman

The stuntman smiled

He kneeled down to John and said

“The plank is the same

You walked across it with ease

All I did was put it up higher

So it took your breath away

But the plank didn’t change

Your perception of it did”.

He was right

John recognised immediately 

That’s the difference between playing pretend with his friends and being on the stage

There is none!

Only his perceptions 

It’s the same thing he did every day

The same fun and simple play

All the other stuff...

The stage, the lights, the set, the crowd, the eyes, the costumes

That’s all an illusion

A distraction

Bingo!

John recognised it was his responsibility to notice when his imagination was running away with him

And to bring it back to what was within his control:

Having a playful and honest conversation with the person standing opposite him

John breathed with ease

He knew what to do next.

At the next recess break

John found his teacher standing in the playground

He walked up to her

Tugged on her dress 

Looked up at her with his curious little glassy eyes

And said

“Miss,

I’d like to try again, please”

Hope this helps

X 

First Three Reps Don’t Count

I went surfing on the weekend…

Let me start this again

I tried to go surfing on the weekend

I love the word “try”

It’s the opposite of what was jammed down my gullet during school

“Don’t say TRY”

“Trying is weak”

“You WILL do it”

Thank you life-coaching postcard 

Any who

I tried to go surfing on the weekend

It’s been 7 years since I last caught a wave (on a stand up paddle board)

So paddling out using my arms to catch some barrels is absolutely not my forte 

The waves were nice and small 

I had a lovely friend with me who is very experienced 

And the sun came out so I could clearly see the ocean floor

But as perfect as the setup was

It took me about 30 seconds to feel completely overwhelmed 

Paddling out with a foam board meant I wasn’t able to duck-dive smoothly 

So when the waves came through whilst I was trying to make it passed the break

I got bashed around like a cork in a whirlpool 

Within just a few moments

I felt like a complete failure

“I can’t even get passed the break”

“Everyone else can do this”

“This is pathetic”

It felt strange to be speaking to myself that way

(It’s been a while since I heard such a critical voice in my head)

But then I remembered

It’s been years since I actually paddled out

And even then… I’ve was never actually able to consistently catch waves and stand up

It felt lovely to admit to myself the truth

That I have no idea what I’m doing

So why am I putting so much pressure on myself like I should know?

I then remembered one of my favourite things I read about an olympic level athlete who I’m a big fan of

“The first 3 reps don’t count”

Yes!

I love that!

The first 3 reps are purely just to get in the arena

To give one’s-self permission to suck

After those first 3 reps?

Permission to start making adjustments

But those first 3…

No correcting

No fixing

No solving

Just get messy

Just play :)

So?

I took a breath

Laughed at how much I was flailing like a drowning monkey

Paddled in the most uncoordinated fashion

And just managed to make it passed the break

(Which was a win in itself)

Did everything magically become amazing then?

Nope

It sucked

I caught one wave in

Stood up and turned to my friend with the biggest smile of the decade

But then became so tired trying to get passed the break again 

That I went an sat on the beach to catch my breath

I gave up

Tapped out

Surrendered 

And it felt glorious…

Tried to go surfing for the first time in almost a decade

Just managed to stand on one wave

WAHOO

Now time for an Açai bowl and some honest conversations with an old friend

A great first try

Yes

I still suck at surfing

I didn’t end up winning the Rip Curl Bells Beach Comp

But I’m happy

It was my first of 3 attempts

So I’m not even going to give it much thought

I’ll go suck another 2 times (at least)

Then maybe start having a think about trying to improve.

What’s my point?

When it comes to all the different aspect of managing one’s acting career

Self Tapes

Call Backs

Director Meetings

Writing Scripts

Waiting Well

Game Plans

Game Days

First Day’s on set

Handling Pressure

New Accents

New linguistic styles

Practice

Coaches

Acting Classes 

Etc

The first three reps don’t count.

Hope this helps

X 

When It’s All Too Much

Once upon a time

I was stepping off stage at the Sydney Opera House

Night after night

And I simply wanting to give up.

I was 25 years old

I had worked my bottom off from the age 15 

And I was finally leading a major production playing one of Shakespeare’s great roles

I had an expectation that this would be a dream-come-true experience

But here’s what actually happened…

Very early into rehearsals

I was holding tightly onto what my expectations were 

Where I thought I should be

Rather than accepting where I actually was

And instead of communicating that I was struggling

I went inwards

I thought I’d solve it by pushing through

Using more force

On the second show

I lost my voice

(Not the funnest situation when you know you have about 112 shows left)

To combat this

I went to the doctor

They gave me steroids for my vocal chords

A side effect from the pills was I lost sleep

I became increasingly tired

My stresses increased

Again, rather than putting my hand up and connecting with others

I went inwards and thought I would solve through pushing

(I hadn’t learned other ways yet)

I pushed some more

And on the 12th show 

I hit my hand so hard on the back wall of the stage during my opening speech

I gave myself bursitis in my right shoulder

This meant that if I held my right arm up

It would occasionally give up on me

And just fall without my knowing

I did’t ask for help

I thought I’d solve it myself

I decided to switch all physical stuff to my left arm

And on the 20th show 

I gave myself bursitis in my left shoulder

Yup

I now was on steroids for my vocal chords

Was not sleeping because of the pills 

And had no use of either of my arms

Which meant I stopped all physical activity 

It was all too much

And it didn’t take long

Before I feel into a deep dark hole

Of course I did 

I had lost the use of my body

I was pushing emotions aside

And I was letting my brain swirl in whichever direction it wanted 

Which of course, under pressure, it did what it’s designed to do in order to protect me

And became very reactive to external stimuli

So looking back

It makes complete sense to me now that 60 shows later

I found lying inside of an MRI machine

Hating everything

And reactive to everything that was outside of my control 

It was our wonderful stage manager who eventually said to me 

We have all the systems in place to take care of you

But at the end of the day

We can’t do anything unless you tell us what’s going on

It’s you who has the responsibility to say what is so for you

At that point

I fell apart

I admitted where I was 

I told them I felt like a failure because I wasn’t able to handle things the way I expected

But that I simply couldn’t sustain what was happening any more 

And within 24 hours

I had physio appointments booked in

Doctor meetings scheduled

And was sitting in my hotel room with my understudy helping him with his lines

I dropped from 8 shows a week to 6

And began to slow down

It was the start of a new chapter for me

It ignited a curiosity in sustainable performance 

And 8 years later 

When I’m not giving my own performance

I’m helping others with theirs 

Why the hell am I sharing all this?

Well

As is the norm with all natural systems

Cycles occur

Ebbs and flows

Things come in waves

And I’ve recently been reminded about this idea of when it’s all too much

In the last 3 months

I have moved from Maroubra (Place of Thunder) to Curl Curl (River of Life)

On top of filming a new Disney+ series

Studying university

Teaching 

Coaching

Auditioning 

Car shopping

And getting a nursery ready for the arrival of my first born in June

Ugh

Of course

There have been moments where it’s been too much

And where I have felt completely overwhelmed 

So

This one’s for myself today

For when it’s all to much :)

Here we go

One

Notice it

That’s bloody sure worth celebrating

Why?

Because I’m aware

And if I’m aware

Then I can make a new choice

Two

Slow down

I want to do less than I think I can handle

It takes a shit load of courage to surrender to chaos 

And to do less in a moment where my belief systems tell me to push harder and go faster

Three

Bring it back to the basics 

Shift my physiology - move & breathe

Acknowledged and accept where I actually am - give up on where I think or feel I should be

Give my Reticular Activating System clear and simple things to focus on

“I am honest, I take my time, I focus on what I can control”, etc

Four

Prioritise what is most important for now

What do I actually need to say yes to?

What do I need to let go of, or say no to?

Again, it takes trust in myself to do less than I think I can handle

Five

Connect with people I love

People who fill my cup

Who float my boat.

And finally

Remember

This is not forever

It’s just for now 

What to do next?

Go buy an ice cream 

Obviously

So

To clarify 

When it’s all too much

Slow down

And go back to basics

There is nothing sexier than the fundamentals 

That’s some sustainable stuff right there

Hope this helps

X 

Actor’s Self Talk

The world of performance coaching

By that I mean

Coaches who help artists, athletes, CEO’s, etc, perform better 

Is filled with plenty of bells and whistles

And who doesn’t love a good bell or whistle!?

The latest gadget that measures heart rate variability 

Wearable rings that track sleep and determine how much someone can push themselves in training when they wake

Monitors to indicate when someone is too stressed needs to take a breath

Science is certainly making things interesting in the world of performance

Like a rainbow coloured milkshake

But as much fun as it all can be 

There’s something I love more

A clear glass of water

Mmm

Simple

Fundamental 

Incredibly valuable

What I’m more curious about than the latest technique or gadget

Is the work that helps the work most

I repeat 

The work… that helps the work… most

When I look at the people who I believe are the best in the game at helping performers

The coaches who actually walk the walk

Nope

Not many bells

Not many whistles

No rainbow coloured milkshakes to be seen

Their work tends to be simpler (not necessarily easier) 

Pen

Paper

Deep thought

The work

You know what I mean

The work

If you told me 

Yo Mike, you can only help one last performer before your times up on this Earth 

I’d sigh

And say…

Go into nature

With your pad and your pen

Sit down

Think of an event or experience you have coming up where you’re required to perform under pressure

It could be an audition

A meeting

A game

A first day on set for that new show 

Maybe an opening night on stage at the Sydney Opera House

Now

Put your timer on for 7 minutes

And begin writing

How would you like to speak to yourself when you wake up on the morning of that event?

Write it 

Seems pretty basic right?

Bit too simple?

Possibly like a glass of water?

Yep

The fundamentals

There is not a single person on this earth who is responsible for the way that you speak to yourself

Other than you

That responsibility lies on your shoulders

And guess what 

You do have a choice in the matter

(As bloody hard as that can feel sometimes)

The best coaches in the game know

How you speak to yourself

Moment to moment

Is going to have one of the biggest influences on your life and work

So my advice

Try it

Just once

Just for 7 minutes

Write as if you were solely responsible for how you guide yourself before stepping into a big performance

Imagine the dream case scenario

Imagine if you just said 

Screw it! I’m going to take care of myself better than ever before

How would you communicate?

Would it be kind? 

Compassionate? 

Fun? 

Playful? 

Focused? 

Clear? 

Honest? 

Supportive? 

Loving?

Guiding?

Nurturing? 

Inspiring?

What if you were guiding your 5 year old self?

What if your 5 year old self was guiding you?

Write your inner monologue 

Your Self Talk

The dialogue you have with yourself 

This is one of those exercises that might feel icky for a few seconds or sentences

Just dive in

I’m interested in what you experience

And if what comes out of you is something you’d like to maybe experience more of?

Curious

Self Talk

Practice how you speak to yourself under pressure

Might just be the most delicious glass of water you’ll ever drink

Hope this helps

X 

Trust in Logic

There is a scene in Christopher Nolan’s Batman Begins

Batman is training with his sensei on a frozen lake high up in the mountains

His sensei taunts him

Even brings up Batman’s father

Uh oh

Batman’s fear transforms into uncontrollable anger

He is blinded by his emotions

Batman lunges

And for a moment 

It looks like Batman has the upper hand

But 

Just when he thinks he’s been successful

His sensei makes him aware that he has sacrificed sure footing for the lure of success 

The sensei simply taps the ice beneath Batman’s feet

And Batman plunges into the freezing lake below

Beautiful 

We cut to the next scene

Batman is sitting beside a fire

Furiously rubbing his arms

He is freezing

His sensei looks at him and calmly says

Rub your chest, your arms will take care of themselves

I repeat

Rub your chest… your arms will take care of themselves 

I have thought about this line an enormous amount in the past 12 months 

Why?

Well

In almost every acting class I have ever been in

Someone in the class

Sacrifices sure footing for the lure of success

By that, I mean

An actor will start pushing for an emotional result

It’s something all actors have seen 

And damn sure have experienced 

When there is a strong expectation of a particular result 

(In other words - A strong should)

I should cry

I should shout

I shout laugh

The instinct can be to cling on to it for dear life when we realise we might not meet that expectation 

What is important to note here is that…

Pushing for an emotion is a lose lose situation

The fighting to control means we can bully our bodies or other actors into fitting a particular mould 

Resulting in tension

Squeezing every facial muscle to try get that one tear to roll down the cheek 

And

The audience recoils as their mirror neurones ignite and they feel the dreaded tension in their own bodies

There is no win 

So 

What can we do?

What can we focus on that will the allow the result to take care of itself 

Logic 

Trust in logic

Let emotions take care of themselves

You are far better off letting go of all emotional expectations and just focussing on logic

Then pushing for what you think the right version of the scene is.

Like in any game

If we want to play well

At some point we have to accept chaos 

We have to trust ourselves that we have enough structure to fly 

And then simply fall.

Trust in ones ability to handle chaos 

Is a muscle 

It can be built

Give it time

Give it kindness

It will be worth it

So

When in doubt

Rub your chest, your arms will take care of themselves 

I mean…

Trust in logic, your emotions will take care of themselves 

Hope this helps

X 

Sucker for Detail

Last year

I (once again) went through a lovely cycle of “I have no idea what I’m doing”

During my reflections on where I felt stuck

Some curiosities emerged

And these curiosities eventually transformed into questions

I then thought very carefully about who I would love to ask these questions

Two actor’s came to mind

Two phenomenal Australian actors

The kind of actors most of the general public wouldn’t exactly remember the first name of

But the kind of actors who are revered within the industry 

The kind of actors other actors hang about on set to watch because they know special work is about to happen

The kind of actors producers fight to the death for to convince the money people to invest in

Why?

I literally had a producer tell me

“They are kind, respectful and rock up on time”

“They are technically brilliant. Not only that, they make other actors around them better - they genuinely lift the calibre of everyone’s work on set”

“They are no fuss - they don’t bring their baggage to set” 

“So that’s why we try to convince the money people to say yes - the way we see it, it’s an investment in the production”

Mmm

That sounds yummy

“I want to be like that when I grow up”

I said to myself

So, off I went 

To hunt these two actors down

Eventually 

I found them

Sitting in a cave on a far away misty mountain top

Nah, I found them both on set

Which, of course, is where they are most of the time

In fact, one of them I’m lucky enough to be filming with at the moment

Which has been great, because not only do I get to hear great advice

But I also get to see the physical manifestations of their ideas - ie, their actions 

How they walk the walk 

So

What did I learn from these two craftsmen?

Well

Funnily enough

Both conversations led to the same point

They are both suckers for detail

“Almost every problem I have witnessed on set, I believe it boils down to an actor being too general”

“Vice versa, almost every solution I can see on set, I believe it boils down to an actor being more detailed in their work”

This was great to hear

But how did this look in reality?

Well

Last week I was filming

All day

And by the end of the day

We were doing a wide shot

Me and this actor were far in the distance

Just before the 7th and final take of the day 

One of these actors came rushing up to me and said 

Great Actor: “Mike, it doesn’t quite make sense that I’m point that extra in that direction does it? If the hospital is this way then why don’t I send them in this direction instead?”

Me (thinking about dinner): “Umm, yeah, that does make more sense”

And I can tell you, this actor is like this all day, every day

He doesn’t stop

He doesn’t stop following his curiosity 

Each little moment

Each little take

Add in some compound interest

And booyaa

You have a bloody generous creative

So 

Be a sucker for detail 

Or 

More specifically 

Keep following your curiosity - It will allow the details to flow

Which brings a wonderful quote come to mind 

“Follow the golden thread of what is meaningful and interesting

It will lead you out of the maze”

Hope this helps

X 

Stop Trying to be Interesting

Please

Stop trying to be interesting

Let me explain :)

This question has come up a bit recently

How can I be interesting?

How can I make interesting choices?

How can I stand out from the others?

How can I be a rebel and make dangerous choices?

First things first

Rebels are just as boring as sheep 

Why?

They are predictable

A sheep does what the group does

A rebel does the opposite 

Predictable 

And predictable is the opposite of alive

Therefore

Boring

Next

Let’s look at an actor who is wanting to make “interesting choices”

Who is wanting to “stand out from the crowd”

Well

Right from the get go

The actor has given their power away

Why?

Well, who determines if the choice is interesting or not?

Exactly

It’s something external to ourselves

I might think I have made the most interesting, unique, dangerous choice in the history of acting

But the kid in the front row eating his bag of crisps might stare back at me and yawn out of tremendous boredom (true story)

Therefore

The kid is the one who determines if my choice is actually interesting or not

This is outside of my control

And the chances are then

I’m up for an exhausting journey 

I’ll go to sleep happy if the kid stands up on their chair and cheers for me because they’re enthralled by my choices 

But the flip side is that I’ll go to sleep disappointed if he takes another crunchingly-loud mouthful of crips because the bag is more interesting than my work.

Big ups and downs

Not very sustainable 

So

To be clear

Interesting choices are a result which is out of our control

Let’s let go of the results here and go back to process

Let’s look at the experts 

What is unanimously the most dangerous, interesting, unique thing an actor can do?

Be. Present.

An actor who is present is alive

Now, THAT is a goal worth working towards

However

One can not instantaneously become present just by thinking “C’mon Michael, be present dammit!”

Presence itself is a bi-product, a result 

So

The question then becomes…

What is a process that results in presence?

What can I actually DO in this moment, right now

In order to help me move into a place of presence?

Breathe

Breath = presence 

If I can go back to my breath

I can become present

And being present means I can genuinely react to my given circumstance 

DAYEM

Now, I love that actors go out of their way to have a “character’s secret” or copy Brando and make their "character’s animal" an English bulldog that’s been shot in the throat for dramatic effect

But when it comes to skills I truly believe are worth investing in

That will actually result in the improvement and progression of their craft

I still have not come across something more valuable than breath

So please

The next time an acting teacher says to you 

“Make interesting choices”

(which I believe is equivalent to saying “hey just be amazing but I don’t actually know how to help you do that”)

Go back to process

Breathe

Your breath will help you move into a state of presence

Your presence will help you listen, react, speak truthfully and in general, come to life!

And you being alive… you living in front of the lens and reacting truthfully…

Mmm

That’ll do pig 

That’ll do

So

Stop trying to be interesting

Instead

Breathe 

And let the results take care of themselves 

Hope this helps

X 

There is No Hope

Hey Michael

I hope you’re keeping well and enjoying the conclusion to 2022!

I’m reaching out today for some guidance post graduation. I’m finding that I need to find some clarity moving forward.

Any wisdom you can embark upon me would be greatly appreciated.

…

Hey Mate

Sure thing

There is no hope

I repeat

There is no hope.

None. Zilch. Nada

Let me explain

Firstly

A monumentally huge congrats for graduating from drama school

3 years at one of those top institutes is a bloody big ask

A once in a lifetime journey

So I really hope you take the time to reflect, acknowledge and celebrate the energy invested

Put your feet up on the couch with that Icy-Pole

You earned it

WAHOO

So

Now what?

I assume the agent game has begun

Organising meetings

Trying to find an energising match in terms of values & hopefully someone that can get you opportunities so you can give your craft

And then?

Ahhh

Yes

The waiting game has begun!

Waiting for that email to come through

Waiting for the phone to ring

Waiting to hear back from that self tape

Waiting to walk into the casting room

Waiting for feedback that may or may not come

Waiting for your “you got the job, kid” moment

That little morsel of hope delivered in a bite sized bit of communication

Well…

I’m sorry to say

But sadly it’s true

It’s not coming

The audition is not going to make things okay

The self tape is not going to solve everything

The job is not going to make everything in life better

I have to be very honest in this moment

Last week

I got a phone call saying I was being offered a Disney+ series without having to audition

A call that came completely out of the blue

How did I react?

Well

I stood in a Coles parking lot in some tiny coastal town

With my pregnant fiancé (yes, I’m becoming a dad in 2023)

And we both cried in each others arms

In that moment

I felt like there was hope

Like everything was going to be okay

And I can tell you

That feeling has not changed since I graduated from NIDA 12 years ago

Almost every job that has come through that I have really wanted (for whatever reason specific to that time)

Has come with a sense of both joy & relief

But if I take some time to zoom out

I can see that it’s very short lived

No job has made my life okay

No job has suddenly changed everything for me

My life has not become better because I got acting work

But…

I sure as hell can tell you

That I have gotten acting work because I made my life better

Taking care of the essentials

Health

Wealth

Relationships

Family

Environments

Craft

Contribution

The importance & value of daily habits far outweigh the sporadic extremes

But I understand the “When I, Then I” trap

“When I get that big job just around the corner… then everything will be okay”

Yep

I still fall in it

Of course I do

I’m a human

I have fears

I have goals

And sometimes they all get mashed up into a beautiful complex mess

And that’s okay

But

Now what?

If I’m not going to invest my time and energy in hoping a job is just around the corner that will make everything okay

What do I do?

Where is actual hope?

How does one build hope?

How does one take action and responsibility and build an environment which allows hope to come to them rather than desperately chasing after it?

Mmm

Fall in love with process

Fall in love with practice

Fall in love with the boring bits

What do I mean by “fall in love”

I mean build something which energises you

Build processes which feel addictive

Processes which excite you

Make it fun, playful ,enjoyable, messy

The idea that the work must be painful or hard in order for you to do well

Yep - romantic as hell

Believe me, I have been there

But what I realised

Was that if I suffered for my art, eventually it was my art that suffered

(I sacrificed both my shoulders to that ideology)

I realised it wasn’t actually hard to stand in the middle of a room screaming, crying and behaving in extreme ways

What’s hard is showing up, day after day, doing the slow, kind, unromantic boring bits

THAT’s hard

As for the work itself…

Permission to build it in a sustainable way

Kindness and all

So to you, my friend

Who is sitting on your coach eating your celebratory Ice-Pole

I say the same thing I say at the end of every screen class

“I hope you found joy in the effort”

I mean that

I really mean that

I hope you go out into the world and find joy in the effort

If you can do that…

I reckon you’ll be more than okay :)

Hope this helps

X

The Starving Artist

“A starving artist is someone who’s art means a lot to them, but no-one else”

Mmm

Curious

It’s been a year since I heard that quote

And yet it still nudges me in the same uncomfortable way as it did back then

I think there is a little light inside me that flickers on when I hear it

A knowing deep down that understands this idea maybe more than my mind does

What is it telling me?

Well

Straight up

I have been saying no for two years 

“No” 

When I returned from making a movie in 2020

I hadn’t been home for 3 days before I was offered a lead role in the next

It felt strange

I’ve never really been an actor whose moved from job to job non-stop for more than about a year

So getting work back to back has always sat a bit strange with me

In this particular case

I really felt like I should say yes

A lead role offered to me without even auditioning?

Heck, yeah!

Work, money, new colleagues, etc 

It was an opportunity

And actor’s should say yes to all opportunities, right?

Mmm 

I’m not sure things are that black and white

Something was off

The conversations I was having with the director

The last minute changes to the script 

The script itself 

It wasn’t sitting well

I had 2 weeks to make a decision 

So the question back then became

What decision would I regret NOT doing the most?

To NOT listen to my body?

To NOT take the job and miss out on the money & opportunity to act?

I chose my body

I chose to walk away

I chose to say “no, thank you”

And that’s what worked for me then

I was really proud of that decision 

It felt honest, open and in line with me

But that was back then

And something that I think might have leaked out of that experience

Was a momentum of “no’s”

“No” became almost my default response 

“Waiting for that special one”, I would tell myself

“Waiting for that one that lights my body on fire” 

Until one day

When I was wandering around in a pet shop (still one of my favourite things to do)

I noticed a big beautiful tank that covered the whole wall

With some of my favourite African fish swimming around in it

They were stunning

But one side of the tank was almost empty

I shuffled over to the empty side and noticed something

There was almost no life there whatsoever 

The rocks were bare

No plants grew

And when I looked at the surface of the water

It was dirty, stagnant and almost mouldy

It seemed the water filter wasn’t reaching over to that side of the tank

So there was no movement in the water

No movement

No life

Mmm

No movement… no life

“A starving artist is someone who’s art means a lot to them, but no-one else”

What is this telling me?

I can sit still in my lounge and wait for the “right one” all I want

But at some point

If I want life

Then maybe I need to go first

Maybe it’s me who needs to make the first move

Curious

Where can you afford to move in order to contribute more of your art to the tribe?

Hope this helps

X 

An Actor’s Life For Me

Stick with me on this one :)

“An actor’s life for me”

That lovely little song in Disney’s Pinocchio 

The story of a puppet becoming a real boy 

A real boy? 

An autonomous Individual 

No longer a puppet to certain ideologies, believe systems, institutions etc

To think for yourself, have a healthy criticism of authority and to no longer be bound to the strings you were born into

Beautiful

After Geppetto “wishes upon a star” (aligns himself to a clear and honest goal & surrenders to the divine)

The Blue Fairy (representing fate, divinity, Mother Nature) descends 

Pinocchio is granted a soul, a consciousness and the ability to begin thinking for himself

Yet, Pinocchio is still a puppet 

He's still made of wood

Not bones, flesh and blood 

The Blue Fairy outlines a condition before Pinocchio becomes a real boy

“Prove yourself brave, truthful and unselfish and someday you will be a real boy.”

Brave. 

Truthful. 

Unselfish.

Mmm

Night blossoms into day

And Pinocchio knows what he must do

Go to school

Apply himself

Contribute wonderful things to society

But

On the way to his first day of school 

Pinocchio is enticed by a fox 

This is where our song comes into play

The fox, Honest John (yeah, right) whispers deceitful things into Pinocchios ear

He tempts Pinocchio with the lure of fame

Despite Jiminy Cricket (representing Pinocchios conscience) pleading for Pinocchio to turn around and go back to school 

Pinocchio follows Honest John along with the lure of a catchy song:

Hi-diddle-dee-dee

An actor's life for me

A high silk hat and a silver cane

A watch of gold with a diamond chain

Hi-diddle-dee-day

An actor's life is gay

It's great to be a celebrity

An actor's life for me

Hi-diddle-dee-dum

An actor's life is fun

An actor's life for me

Hi-diddle-dee-dee

An actor's life for me

A wax moustache and a beaver coat

A pony cart and a billy goat

Hi-diddle-dee-dum

An actor's life is fun

You wear your hair in a pompadour

You ride around in a coach and four

You stop and buy out a candy store

An actor's life for me

Hi-diddle-dee-dee

An actor's life for me

A high silk hat and a silver cane

A watch of gold and a diamond chain

Hi-diddle-dee-day

An actor's life is gay

It's great to be a celebrity

An actor's life for me

An actor’s life?

Huh?

Why is the life of an actor being used to steer Pinocchio away from a good and honest path?

Well

Time for some brutal honesty

Disney is using an actor’s life

To represent taking short cuts in this world

And the repercussions that come from chasing rewards over fulfilling work

Don’t work hard, just become an actor!

You will be rewarded, receive love & validation, for doing very little

Reward for little effort?

Mmm

That actually does sound yummy 

Roughly speaking… some people see the instant success of celebrity & reality television and assume that the hard work and discipline involved in being a true artist is not a necessary factor

I assume, to some degree, we all know this

So what’s my point?

This song, to me, acts as a cautionary reminder

Bring it back to bliss

Remind yourself of the joy, love, play and freedom that came with getting involved with acting in the first place

Let go of the short cuts, hacks and pleasurable distractions

And… on top of this

Remind yourself of the responsibility to be Brave, Honest & Generous 

I get it... Reward for little effort does sound delicious

But to me

What sounds even better than that

Is putting my head on the pillow

Feeling grateful and proud that I tried

Tried to align myself with a goal I believed to be clear and honest for me

And then convert that desire into brave, honest and generous behaviour

God…

I have some work to do :)

Hope this helps

X 

Four Pillars

What is actually necessary to be great at in order to contribute more as a modern day screen actor?

One: Surrender 

You are the most valuable currency you have in this industry 

NOT who you think you should be

We want you, the real you, warts and all

The work is moving away from those who can “act well”

And moving toward those who are technically able to give themselves permission to be where they actually are

So, practice giving up

Practice giving yourself permission to be where you actually are

It ain’t good, bad, right or wrong

Two: Serve

If the team is spending $300k over the next 3 hours to get this one scene completed

It will be bloody helpful if you have a strong understanding of why 

Cut to the chase

What is the point of this scene?

What is the function of your character in this scene / story?

If you are clear about why the team is going to all the effort to film this next scene

Then you will be clear about where to invest your time and energy 

And thus, give where and when required

Rather then investing precious resources into unnecessary places

Producers and directors love generous actors

So be more generous 

Be clear about what’s worth caring about

And serve

Three: Connect

Homo sapiens, as a single entity, are weak and feeble creatures

They rose up the food chain because of one crucial factor

Connection

Our ability to connect, allowed us to work together

Increasing our ability to provide, protect & procreate 

It is deeply embedded in our DNA

But as actors

Often times we are being asked to contribute a strong relationship in a matter of seconds

I remember rocking up for my first day on Home & Away and having to shoot the romance scene first thing

For the story to work, Ruby & Steve had to give in to their weeks-long desire 

I literally said “hello” to the actress with an awkward laugh

And someone yelled “action”…

Don’t ask me how the scene went

So the important question becomes:

How does one pretend to have a meaningful relationship when we have only met our fellow actor for 30 seconds?

Find your way

What works for you?

What helps you create a “real” relationship in the least amount of time possible?

Try different acting techniques 

Experiment 

Find something that works (and is sustainable!)

And Connect 

Four: Focus 

Everyone on set has a job

They expect you to do yours

At some point on set or in the casting room

There will be signals to indicate a take is about to happen

Do what you need to do

To get where you need to get

So you can give what you need to give

Focus on the one thing that is going to help carry you best into the conversation that’s about to happen

Again

Experiment  

Try different acting schools of thought

It might be something which provides you with some chaos

Or you might need a little order

Find what works best for you 

But when all the smiles, laughter and talking disappear 

And there is silence in the room

And everyone is holding their breath and looking at you because they’re waiting for you to do your job…

Do. Your. Job

Breathe

Focus 

Then jump in baby :) 

Hope this helps

X 

Fake It Baby

I was stalking an actor one day

As you do

Doing a deep dive into their early career, work, etc

Chasing interviews where they discuss their craft in depth

A quote popped up

I have sat with these words for a few years now

Mulling them over

When I first read them

They really jared with me 

But they presented an idea which has continued to raise it’s head

The following is Michael Douglas discussing what he believes to be the greatest myth around screen acting

“When I was younger

Someone told me

If I wasn’t 100% truthful in front of the lens

The camera would pick it up.

Yeah… That really fucked me up for a while”

I love this quote

Why?

Let’s get curious

Like many actors

I spent a lot of time building a negative association with the idea of fakeness

Everything that was sold to me from day one 

Was around the idea of always being real, truthful, honest etc etc

That being fake was a “bad thing”

But let’s look at the real world

Firstly

Humans are designed to survive 

We build public personas to help us get through our lives

Because sometimes

Giving ourselves permission to feel what we are actually feeling

To be 100% honest, real, authentic etc 

Can feel bloody vulnerable, scary or even dangerous

And rightly so

For the vast majority of our Homo Sapien existence 

Rejection from the group resulted in a higher chance of death

(Side note: This is why it’s completely normal to really care what others think. Hundreds of thousands of years of survival doing its job!)

Thus

Faking it goes hand in hand with living and being a human 

Secondly 

Hang in with me here

Let’s say I have a day on set for a show

I have one scene

The scene lasts two minutes

It’s a simple conversation between two people

Let’s say there are two takes on the wide shot

Two takes on my mid, two on theirs 

Two takes on my closeup, and two on theirs

Approximately 10 takes for this 2 minute scene

Now

Let’s sayyyyyyy

Wide Take 1 - I give Fake work between 0:46 - 0:54 & 1:25 - 1:30

Wide Take 2 - I give Fake work between 0:13 - 0:26 

My Mid Take 1 - I give Fake work between 0:00 - 0:05, 0:36-0:38, 1:46 - 1:52

My Mid Take 2 - I give Fake work between 0:52 - 0:56

My Close Up Take 1 - I give Fake work between 1:40 - 1:46

My Close Up Take 2 - I give Fake work between 0:22 - 0:35

Their Mid Take 1 - I give Fake work between 0:45 - 1:23 & 1:45 - 1:47

Etc etc 

See what’s happening? 

Yup

We start to see it from the editors point of view

Over time

We will give enough options

To enable the editor to build something

And the further we get in our careers

The more our skillset grows and we become more consistent

And the gaps of fake work in between the real stuff 

Get smaller

But even then

A fake look in a particular direction

With some sweet editing 

And Bob's your uncle!

Not feeling confident but the character is supposed to be?

Forget about it

The lens is on your face right now

And confidence is reavealed the further we move away from the centre of the body

The camera isn't capturing your feet or hands

So get on with it :)

Trust the editor

Remember

Screen is an editor’s medium 

This is where they step in and build magic 

And what they build is vastly out of my control

I can’t tell you how many moments I stressed over after stepping off set 

Losing sleep because 

“I wasn’t completely in it in that moment!!!!”

Only to watch the scene years later and realise that if I had slowed down, zoomed out and looked at what the scene was actually about

And what the function of my character in the story actually was

I wouldn’t have been surprised to see that while I was saying that particular line 

The editor was zooming deeply into the other actor's eyes 

And playing sad music to illustrate the character’s realisation that they’re going def 

What!? 

You mean it’s not all about me!?

Remember 

We are all on the same team

Everyone is wanting to build a great story 

I remember stepping off set on my last day on The Nightingale

Jennifer Kent said to me

“I take bloody good care of my actor’s in the editing room”

I remember Mel Gibson at the wrap party for Hacksaw Ridge saying to everyone 

“I have no idea what we’ve just made, but it’s got a bloody good heart, so I know we will be able to build something wonderful in the edit”

Ugh

The screen family

Warms my heart 

What’s my point?

Ease off beating yourself up about faking it

It’s okay to fake it baby

Now

Let’s get practical

What can we actually do about this moving forward?

Let’s say we are half way through a take

And we notice

“Oh, I’m not being 100% real right now!”

First things first

We noticed it

Brilliant!

Awareness equals choice

Now we get to choose what to do next

Here’s two possible options

One

Start beating the heck out of yourself

“I’m being fake. That is bad. I’m a bad actor. I suck. Why can’t I be better and get it right?”

Two

Notice it

Take a breath

Keep going with the scene

Mmm

Hope this helps

X